Strongsville Library Author Event invitation

Posted on July 23, 2017 by EricV

I am excited to announce I was invited to be the guest speaker at the Strongsville Library Annual Author Event on Wednesday, August 9th, from 7:00pm-8:30pm. The event will start with a brief library meeting, then I will be called up to speak for about 45 minutes. I will be telling my story of love and loss — experiences that left me with a strong desire to do something good with my grief. I will share how my journey revealed to me that life is a never-ending love story. I will share how I discovered that love will always find a way. There will be an opportunity for questions and comments. And for anyone interested, I will be signing copies of my book, “Honey, I Shrunk the Grief!”.

I would love to share in the experience with you. The event is free and open to the public. Registration is required by phone 440-238-5530 or on the library website

Please help spread the word and share this invite with others.

With love and gratitude,

Eric

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Connect on Twitter: @EricVaiksnoras
Connect on Facebook: @HoneyIShrunkTheGrief

Life is a Never-Ending Love Story

Posted on December 30, 2016 by EricV

Just Married!!!! Eric & Sharon / October 2016

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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~.
Our story was featured in The Plain Dealer!!!!
(Regina Brett’s December 11, 2016 column)
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life is a never-ending love story

CLICK HERE FOR NEW PAPERBACK VERSION OF BOOK
CLICK HERE TO READ ONLINE VERSION OF BOOK
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FEELING GRATEFUL OR LOW? SIGN THE THANK YOU CARD

Connect on Twitter: @EricVaiksnoras
Connect on Facebook: @HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.

The Message in the Mess

Posted on December 30, 2016 by EricV

The message in the mess is love

CLICK HERE FOR NEW PAPERBACK VERSION OF BOOK
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Connect on Twitter: @EricVaiksnoras
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HISTG Now in Paperback

Posted on December 30, 2016 by EricV

I am excited to announce that my book, Honey, I Shrunk the Grief!, is now available in paperback on Amazon. If you would like a copy for yourself or a loved one click here to order on Amazon

My book is also available on Amazon’s CreateSpace,
where I am able to offer a 10% discount (at checkout, enter code “W7L7DT4U“)

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If you live in the Cleveland area,
you can also find my book on the shelves of the following two bookstores:

LOGANBERRY BOOKS
13015 Larchmere Blvd., Shaker Heights, OH 44120
216-795-9800

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MAC’S BACKS BOOKS ON COVENTRY
1820 Coventry Road, Cleveland Heights, OH 44118
216-321-2665

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Some book images:
FRONT COVER

BACK COVER

FULL COVER

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PAGE ONE

Honey, I Shrunk the Grief!
is a 7″ x 10″ book (not too big, not too small)
with larger easy to read text and full color images

PRAISE FOR Honey, I Shrunk the Grief!
first reviews on Amazon as of 12/30/16
(book released on 11/23/16)

With Great Admiration……
“I was privileged to be know Eric at the time of his wife’s passing, and to teach him in the last semester of his degree program and so witness his incredible fortitude, strength, generosity of spirit, and his giving nature. This book exemplifies all of those things….a remarkable documenting of his love for Julie, for David, for all the special people in his life, and indeed for life in general. His perspectives on life, love, faith, loss and subsequent recovery will no doubt be of comfort and help to others who experience similar loss. Beautifully written, laced with loving memories, humor, and many words of wisdom…….Shine on Eric!”
Steve Mitchell

Love Found its Way
“This memoir is more beautiful than I ever imagined it could be. It strikes at the very heart of what it’s like to be a widow/widower traveling down this windy road of grief. It’s a journey both intensely personal and universal. Honey I Shrunk the Grief is equal parts gut-wrenching and heart warming; a must-read for anyone who has been widowed, or who maybe just likes to read powerful testimonials of love and triumph. Eric’s heart and soul, and the very essence of his struggle as a widowed, single dad are evident throughout the book. What an uplifting journey, from start to finish. I’m so glad he found the courage to share his story with the world, and know it will prove to be a comforting one to anyone who reads it. Love certainly will ALWAYS find a way.”

Moving Story of Love, Loss & Reclaimed Love
“A book to comfort those who are grieving, as well as an inspirational read for those looking to be moved by the strength of a single father reclaiming his life after unexpected loss. Eric Vaiksnoras describes an incredible journey about coming to terms with a harsh reality we all face during this life – the death of a loved one. As a young widower, he has a choice to let his loss consume him and to lead him down a difficult road of darkness or to look for the hope in life despite the heartbreaking circumstances around his young bride’s death.
Eric proudly pronounces: Love will find a way. He is such a convincing writer. I cried, I laughed, and I smiled with tenderness while reading this story. I was convinced that Love will indeed find a way when we allow it to penetrate our hearts. My hope is that others will read “Honey, I Shrunk the Grief!” and feel the power that our outlook and choices can have on our lives no matter how difficult the journey may seem.”

The greatest love story ever told
“The greatest love story ever told! Proof that you should never stop believing! Brings out the best from deep within you and makes you believe in love again. This book will change your outlook on life and make you appreciate all that life has to offer. Truly a remarkable story and extremely well told from cover to cover. Enjoy and Believe!”
Kathy Hryb

Each human life is a journey that is like a unique experiment
“Each human life is a journey that is like a unique experiment, and we all undergo trials and difficult times during this amazing voyage. But how does a person deal with a life-shattering event that blindsides you with no forewarning? In his book, Eric Vaiksnoras engages his readers by sharing his story precipitated by such an event in a memoir that is both heartbreaking and ultimately heartwarming. He explores the many emotions he felt, ranging from despair, fear, rationalization, and eventually hope and love. He describes his struggle to cope with the hole in his life created when he so suddenly lost his wife Julie.
As he carries us along through his various perceptions and emotions, many of his actions and reactions strike a chord with me personally, and I suspect would with many other readers. He has always been a very active person, and describes his love of running and other active sports to maintain his physical and mental stamina. As a longtime runner, I can relate to the sense of accomplishment and exhilaration from completing a long peaceful run. He even uses strenuous activities to face the element of fear, a constant presence to him during this period, such as his venture to join his uncle in a skydiving expedition, described in heart-pounding detail. He also addresses the importance of more cerebral exercise, including meditation, yoga and focus on breathing awareness.
He devotes time to help us get to know Julie, most endearingly by sharing a number of cards, drawings and notes from her young students. The simple, sometimes misspelled words of children often provide more insight than a more sophisticated author could ever hope to emulate. They will always provide a memory of the love they had for their favorite teacher.
Through it all, Eric describes how he persists through his struggles to rediscover meaning and regain the motivation to move forward with is life rather than stay down or regress. This is a book that will touch your heart and remind us of the strength of the human spirit.”

an insightful story of love and loss
“A devastating, hopeful, and insightful story of love and loss. A young widower overcomes his grief and discovers that anything is possible with love. It will bring tears to your eyes, while leaving you with the powerful message that “Love will find a way.”.

CLICK HERE FOR NEW PAPERBACK VERSION OF BOOK
CLICK HERE TO READ ONLINE VERSION OF BOOK
SEARCH BLOG ARCHIVES FOR ADDITIONAL BLOG POSTS
FEELING GRATEFUL OR LOW? SIGN THE THANK YOU CARD

Connect on Twitter: @EricVaiksnoras
Connect on Facebook: @HoneyIShrunkTheGrief

Life, Death, and Relationships

Posted on June 15, 2016 by EricV

(from my 6/13/16 HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook post)

Matters of the heart…Your comments welcome:

It dawned on me today that time and time again, when listening to someone talk about what is most important to them in life (particularly during end-of-life reflections), I hear stories about people stating that “Relationships” are what they’ve come to value most.

This got me thinking about grief; specifically, the parallels I’m seeing between the most important parts of life (relationships), and the pain that is associated with death. As time passes, and I have more experiences to reflect back on, I’m realizing that, Yes, the most important parts of LIFE do indeed center around Building Relationships — with others — and with one’s self. And not only that, I’m seeing that DEATH, interestingly enough, is ALSO about Building Relationships. Transformed relationships.

In other words, LIFE is about relationship building…not only with those that are “alive”…but with those that are “dead”, too! If I make it a priority to maintain All of my relationships, I believe this act is one of the most powerful, comforting, and healing things I can do.

Death is not the end, but rather a change — in relationship status.

So to soothe the pain from grief, I offer that one of the best things that can be done is to nurture the transformed relationship. And I don’t think this nurturing is something that needs to be done all the time in order to maintain the relationship, just as I don’t believe that I need to have excessively numerous contacts with those that are “alive” in my life. It just needs to be done when needed.

Thanks for reading my thoughts. And I’d love to hear yours. Some questions to consider…
Do you feel that maintaining your relationships in some constructive way has helped to ease any grief you’ve experienced in your life?

What is one of your favorite ways to maintain your relationship with your deceased loved one (in turn, keeping their love present and alive in your life when it’s needed)?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

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Miracle Grow

Posted on June 6, 2016 by EricV

Life is such a rich compost of goodness. I love that. We can never experience too much, for it all adds to the beauty of who we are, and what we have to offer.

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Now on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter https://twitter.com/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

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Time Travel

Posted on February 17, 2016 by EricV

What song transports you through time?

I used to listen to David Gray when my son was an infant, often times while holding him close and swaying to the music, trying to comfort him during painful colicky moments. Today, whenever I hear a David Gray song, I’m instantly transported back to those special bonding moments with my son. It’s amazing how music can allow us to freely travel through time.

Here’s a newer David Gray song I recently heard on the radio titled, “Back In The World”. I really enjoyed it. His familiar sound caught my attention, and I especially loved the upbeat, soothing rhythm and inspiring lyrics:

“Every day when I open my eyes now
It feels like a Saturday
Taking down from the shelf
All the parts of myself
That I packed away
If it’s love put the joy in my heart
Is it God by another name
Who’s to say how it goes
All I know is
I’m back in the world again

Like the lift of a curse
Got a whole different person
Inside my head
No more trudging around
Stony eyed through the town
Like the living dead no
It’s love that lifts us from the dark
Is it God by another name
Who’s to say how it goes
All I know is
I’m back in the world again
Back in the world again

It’s the only way to be
It’s the only way to be
I’m naked like a tree
It’s the only way to be
I’m naked like a tree
It’s the only way to be

Less than sand on the beach
Staring into the reaches of space and time
I’m singing out words
But the voice that I hear
It seems barely mine
If it’s love put the song in my heart
Is it God by another name
Who’s to say how it goes
All I know is
I’m back in the world again
Who’s to say how it goes
All I know is
I’m back in the world again
Back in the world again

It’s the only way to be
It’s the only way to be
I’m naked like a tree
It’s the only way to be“

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Heart and Strategy

Posted on December 16, 2015 by EricV

(from my 9/4/15 HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook post)

I went to see the Southpaw movie last night. It was hard to watch at times; it had a lot of tough scenes I connected deeply to that were centered around parenthood and loss. As uncomfortable as those moments were, I enjoyed feeling a connection to the story — as any story is much more meaningful when I’m able to relate to it. The movie was brutal at times, but appealed to the fighter in me. I enjoyed how the main character changed as a boxer, initially from one who was wild and reckless, to one who became more tactical.

After leaving the theater I began thinking about the character’s transformation, which lead to the following questions:

When is it best to use heart?
vs.
When is it best to use strategy?

I suppose the answer largely depends on the situation, but that thought leaves me wanting more. Upon further reflection, the most satisfying response for me is one that involves the blending of both heart and strategy. And I think it’s this idea of blending that best sums up the movie for me; it illustrates the unstoppable force that is created when heart and strategy become one…a force that, win-or-lose, will always result in a fulfilling outcome.

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Blessed Anniversary

Posted on June 10, 2015 by EricV

(from my 6/10/14 HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook post…revisited and posted here exactly one year later; in honor of today being the anniversary of our wedding day)

Eric & Julie — June 10, 2000

A friend just sent me the kindest text message. One that let me know that he was thinking of me today (My wedding anniversary is today; Julie and I were married on 6/10/00). Friends are the best! His text lit me up inside…with thoughts about Julie and Heaven. I sent him a text reply back. It all felt so good to think about and write that it made me want to share it with you; so that’s what I decided to do. I hope it brings you some warmth too.

(my reply to my friend)
“…those are some Really heartwarming thoughts on heaven. Eternal paradise. What a glorious Finish Line awaits us! I ran a lot of races on a track when I was growing up. So my mind is picturing life as a track…with each of us running our own race…passing others at times…and sometimes getting passed. But it makes no difference what place we finish in. The important thing is that we existed. Ran. Experienced. Got to love & be loved. I picture angels in the stands — rowdy&exhilarated angels — cheering us on with such reassurance…reassurance that we are ok…reassurance that heaven is proud of us for trying & loving. i picture God in multiple places….God is in the stands high-up in the announcers booth, where he can see all. And i picture & feel God on the track, running alongside each of us. i can also picture & feel him with those that are not running…those that are watching…those that are stretching and waiting. I picture &feel him as a gentle coach. gentle not-as-in weak…but the kind of gentleness that can move mountains…the kind of gentleness that comes from knowing…knowing that it’s worth it…knowing that everything is going to be ok…. gloriously ok! what warm thoughts to start this day with. THANK YOU, Robert. YOU are an eternal blessing. Yes you are. HAPPY to run with you. &HAPPY to run with Julie. We were married 14years ago today! She crossed her finish line 10 years ago…yet i know that she didn’t leave with any kind of ill intent. She left because she was faster than me! I also know that she is still close by cheering me on…and able to run by my side at a moments notice…during special days of celebration like this one…and during moments when i cramp-up and feel defeated, confused &fed up. During tough times I feel that God’s grace allows her to gently nudge me forward. During all times i feel incredibly blessed to have been given an opportunity to experience all the sensations that this world has to offer. &During all times i feel incredibly blessed for what awaits me at the finish line. THANK YOU for remembering this special day. THANK YOU for your friendship.”

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Proud Daddy

Posted on June 5, 2015 by EricV

(from my 6/4/15 HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook post)

I’m so proud of David; my elementary school graduate!! I can hardly believe how fast the time went. Thankfully memories linger much longer than any given present moment does; in so many ways he’ll always be my little sparkling Kindergartner. I’m feeling so much…mostly gratitude for this milestone. It feels like a reminder to continue to cherish every day I have with him — because in the blink of an eye the days become years!

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Heavenly Birthday

Posted on May 3, 2015 by EricV

(from my 5/3/14 HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook post …revisited and posted here exactly one year later, in honor of today being Julie’s 39th birthday. Love you, Julie! Happy Birthday!)

I wonder how they celebrate birthdays in heaven? I bet it’s quite an event! Julie turns 38 today, and I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing. Does God lead everyone in a great big singing of “Happy Birthday”? I wonder what that sounds like? I bet it’s like hearing a child’s laughter, the ocean, crickets chirping, a cat purring, a drum line, a beating heart, a deep cleansing breath, wind rustling through the trees, Tesla’s “Love Song”(!) …and every other earthly majestic sound — all rolled into one. I hope God presents Julie with a song that is better than any gift imaginable. One that makes her feel significant, and as free as ever. So much of life seems to involve some sort of advancement towards freedom. I hope her birthday gift is one that fills her with unimaginable freedom. And I hope God allows her to share it with you.

How do you think they celebrate birthdays in heaven?

beautiful song…

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World’s Greatest Magic Trick

Posted on March 31, 2015 by EricV

(from my 4/26/14 HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook post…revisited and posted here today, 3/31/15, in honor of today being Julie’s 11-year memorial day. Love you, Julie! Miss you! And thank you for remaining an ultra-loving part of my life)

“Love reveals death’s illusion.”

Those words just came to mind and inspired this post. For I’ve come to view Death as one of life’s greatest magicians. Death can (unintentionally, I believe) trick its audience into fearing that horrifying things have occurred. But I’m learning that it’s all a great big illusion. Death does not separate, destroy, and bring one to the ground broken-hearted and in tears. It’s the illusion that does. The illusion-of-death tricks us into believing that it robbed us of what we live for — Love.

Death, at least at first impression, feels like a performer with an incredibly warped, sick, twisted sense of humor; a performer who feeds off of fear and pain. But, I’m finding that the kicker, and beauty, is that this form of death cannot exist if one doesn’t give power to one of this world’s most believable tricks: “the illusion that a loved one — that love — is gone”.

I’m here to declare, to myself, and anyone else interested, that this form of death is bogus. This first impression that is so easy to believe is all a sham. Death is confusing, and convincing — but my heart is, and knows, better. The saving grace and truth is: if I want to connect to a loved one soulfully (the best kind of connection in my opinion), I can do so — at anytime — and in countless ways.

The only trouble is, when in the midst of going through a tragedy, I also recognize that it’s extremely difficult to not be fooled by death’s illusion. Death can be so confusing that it can even make pain feel comforting and sought after…because…well, I don’t know why, but I’ve experienced it so I know it to be true. Maybe pain has the ability to be comforting because it’s distracting. It distracts from the scary, new, and unknown. It distracts from the magician’s trick of “sawing someone in half”…a trick that leads us to believe in the worst. It’s difficult not to buy into this painful version of the experience, even if we know better and realize we’re at a magic show. It’s difficult not to believe that our loved one is gone…because we can feel them sawed, cut — separated — from us. So maybe pain is necessary because it numbs, teaches, and allows for growth…adjustment. I don’t know.

But I do know that love will come to the rescue. Love will show death’s performance in slow motion, and from numerous angles. Love will calm and reveal…and expose what I believe to be one of this life’s greatest truths: Death does not have to be feared…death does not have to destroy, abandon. For death is simply a change, a transformation, that allows the essence of us — love — to become something even more beautiful. Death gives the griever, and the deceased (for lack of a better word), an incredible gift — powerful wings with even greater capability. In turn, making death, as holy and as beautiful as life…as birth. Because death is not the end, but rather a limitless continuation.

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Bird Clouds

Posted on March 6, 2015 by EricV

(from my 5/16/14 HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook post)

David and I went to the pet store after school today and were admiring these two parakeets. He told me he sees clouds in them. I did too once he pointed it out. Beautiful birds. And beautiful son

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Dancing Giraffe Eating Blueberries

Posted on January 16, 2015 by EricV

(from my 1/15/15 HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook post)

“It’s a dancing giraffe eating blueberries!…and I painted it!” a bright-eyed 2nd grader announced to me during class.

I couldn’t have been more impressed and asked if I could take a picture of it, to look at whenever I needed a lift.

“Sure!” he quickly replied, looking like the most giving creature on earth.

“Want to know why his face is blue?” he impatiently asked, hardly able to wait for my response.

“Yes,” I said, “why is it blue?”

And with a beauty and sincerity that is so hard to find anywhere beyond childhood, he excitedly shared, “Because I messed up and got blue on his face when I was painting the sky. But then I decided to make him even better!…by adding more blue and having him eating Blueberries!”

“Wow!” I said, “That was such a wonderful idea! I love it!!”

He seemed to inherently recognize the beauty in his act, and he walked away glowing. And he left me glowing too — because his love of life recharged my soul — and because I felt incredibly comforted knowing that he had a gift that would serve him well in this world. I just pray that he never outgrows it. But if he ever does (because it happens to the best of us), I pray that he too has a child someday remind him that all catastrophes…big and small…can be made beautiful, if you add some love and creativity.

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Honey, I Shrunk The Grief!

A YOUNG WIDOWER DISCOVERS LOVE WILL FIND A WAY

Tag Archives: love heals

Strongsville Library Author Event invitation

Life is a Never-Ending Love Story

The Message in the Mess

HISTG Now in Paperback

Life, Death, and Relationships

Miracle Grow

Time Travel

Heart and Strategy

Blessed Anniversary

Proud Daddy

Heavenly Birthday

World’s Greatest Magic Trick

Bird Clouds

Dancing Giraffe Eating Blueberries