Emotions are interesting aren’t they? Everything we each feel is valid…yet, some emotions seem to be more valuable…or at least more sought after? Why? I guess maybe because it’s natural to have some chosen state-of-mind to work towards? A goal of sorts, a vision of some internal state, that we patiently and not so patiently work towards maintaining/achieving. It seems that many people, myself included, strive to keep an inner climate of peace, happiness, and balance. I feel closest to my truest self when I’m in that state…so that’s probably the biggest reinforcing component of it all for me. But does that mean that “negative” or “darker” emotions aren’t as valuable? It has me curious and wanting to explore the subject.
I do think that negative emotions are as valuable, yet I recognize that I usually don’t feel good when I have them, or at least feel some sense of caution…so even though I think they’re valuable and “equal”, I generally wouldn’t say that I like or seek to have them…but yet I realize that it’s not healthy to try and avoid them either. It seems that life, whether we like it or not, needs to expose us to all emotions. Maybe life does this to give us an opportunity to be friends with them all?…so that we can learn to walk with them all?…and be less afraid?…because we’ve experienced them…have a better understanding of them…and thus have learned to do cool things with their energy…productive things that help us to live out our dreams?
As I sit here and reflect on all this, I’m finding myself visualizing a bunch of color related scenes. I’m seeing a big wall of those multi-colored swatches that are located in the paint section of a home improvement store…I’m seeing an artist holding a big palette filled with wet colorful paint…I’m seeing a vibrant rainbow…I’m seeing the inside of Mammoth Cave, in Kentucky, the part where the tour guide turned off the flashlight and it was pitch black — a memorable and intriguing moment because there was a complete absence of light…I’m seeing moving shadows on the sidewalk…a night sky…twinkling stars. If emotions are anything like the colors and visions that surround me, they must all have importance. Without one, we could not experience the other. Without darkness we could not experience the glory of light; and without light, we could not experience the glory of darkness.
I recently overheard an adult tell a child, “you can’t be feeling that way, you’re only 7 years old”. I’m sure I’ve said or felt something similar before…and I’m in no way trying to pick-on this adult, as I’m certain that they responded in this way because they were just sad and concerned for the welfare of the child, but the adult’s reaction really made an impact on me and got me thinking. Of course the child can feel that way, because that’s what the child was feeling! Even though the child is only 7, the difficulty that they were having was very real…so no matter what they were feeling, that feeling becomes real…and if it’s real for that person, even if they are a child, then discounting that emotion, or any emotion, will likely not be of comfort…and perhaps even add to a sense of fear in that child whenever they experience a similar emotion in the future.
So much of life seems to be about acceptance. Maybe emotions fit into this too? Maybe being more accepting of all emotions would lead to even more feelings of the peace and balance I strive for. I think part of the reason accepting all emotions is difficult to do is because it’s hard to be in pain…hard to suffer…and hard to see others in pain. And to make matters even more challenging, sometimes pain or discomfort can become the norm, and then perceptions can be altered…and it becomes more difficult to distinguish between actually being comfortable with an unhealthy norm (because it feels familiar) vs. being comfortable with the desired state of balance that I long to maintain through loving communications with myself and others.
Ok, I’m gonna close now, need to put all this on the back burner to cook a little longer. Thanks for listening. Hope you’re enjoying your ride, and your emotions.
p.s. I watched a thought provoking movie last night called “Seeking A Friend For The End of The World”. It starred Steve Carell and Keira Knightley. Did anyone see it? It’s a dark but heartwarming comedy that explores what people do when humanity’s last days are at hand (the beginning of the movie opens with a radio broadcast that announces an asteroid will collide with the Earth in 3 weeks, and life on Earth will cease to exist). I really enjoyed the movie. It reminded me that my time here is limited; and reminded me of the importance of relationships and connecting soulfully with others. I mention this movie for the reasons listed above…and because I think the movie is largely responsible this post…for me reaching out to you now…which I’m grateful for.
p.p.s. after re-reading this post, I’d like to add a bit more before sending it on its way. I think I’ve figured out the biggest question I was asking myself, and asking you…
How do you comfortably experience every emotion??…while not running from or avoiding the emotions that feel yucky (running out of fear of discomfort, or out of fear of being consumed by the yucky ones)?
For me, I’m thinking the answer lies in staying curious and exploring the yucky ones as fully, and as comfortably as I can…while realizing that some level of discomfort with some emotions is probably very natural and to be expected. And like with any other reoccurring thing in life, I bet my ability to be comfortable with a wide range of emotions will continue to grow with successes over time…and greater peace will be achieved as I become more confident in my realization that the energy and power from even the yuckiest of emotions will always be at my disposal. With practice, this energy can be harnessed and transformed into useful things…things that can contribute to anything that’s important to me…allowing me to turn any of my darkness and hurt into building blocks — valuable resources that I can use to build my own custom staircase to heaven…my very own bonsai tree of sorts. Resources that are — even in their rough and unfinished building material form — sparkly glimpses of heaven in this very present moment.
There’s my 2 cents. Thanks again for listening and sharing your time with me. That felt good to get out. And I hope it in some way added to your tool box. And some final questions for you to ponder privately. Or feel free to respond below if you’d like.
What does your emotional heaven — or desired internal state — look like? Do you feel free to experience any emotion? Is it good to experience all emotions? Are there times when it’s not? When you’re feeling sad or stuck, what kind of helpful and empowering things do you do to free yourself?
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