Gonna Fly Now

Nothing like starting the day with a little Rocky inspiration!
Here’s the “Gonna Fly Now” song and steps climbing scene.

Whatever steps you’re climbing today,
I hope you rise to the top…and do a little dance when you get there!

 

 

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!  

click here to return to home page

Share

Julie’s gift

I just found a gift from Julie that I haven’t seen in the longest time. It’s a special book that she had given me on our wedding day. She highlighted five pages that she wanted me to read. I just went through her highlighted pages and feel overwhelmed with emotion. More than anything, I feel loved. What a tremendous feeling that is. I took 8 pictures to share with you. This book is proof to me that love is a gift that keeps on giving. Love stories never have endings. Love will find a way.

 

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!  

click here to return to home page

Share

Deep sea diving…in a wheelchair!!

Sue Austin teaches about the power of association.

She associates her wheelchair with thoughts of freedom, and she was curious as to why so many people associate the wheelchair with thoughts of limitation.

One day she was thinking about another form of physical aid — scuba gear — and she was curious as to why so many people associate that form of aid with thoughts of excitement and adventure.

She began to realize that she had the power to, as she puts it, “transform preconceptions by re-envisioning the familiar”. This awareness led to the birth of her underwater wheelchair!

Watch this stunning video and see her gracefully demonstrate the freedom that comes from creating positive associations. She gives such hope that associations can be anything we want them to be!


click here to view video

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!  

click here to return to home page

Share

Light as a Feather, & Tough as Dragon Scales!

“Light as a feather, and tough as dragon scales!” 

That was a quote an online retailer used to describe a pair of running shoes I’m considering buying. I love that quote! It paints such a fun and captivating picture in my mind — one that makes me think about Love. Wouldn’t that quote be a wonderful way to define Love? It also gets me thinking about my soul. I want to make it a lifelong priority to forge a soul that can be defined using that quote. I feel like I was born with such a soul, and then it got buried a bit. Now I see my task as one that involves looking for beams of its never-ending light, while clearing life’s rubble and dust so it can once again be restored to its original from-the-factory condition…one that was/is radiant and pristine…one that serves as a beacon to remind me that I’m still, “light as a feather, and tough as dragon scales!”

 

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!  

Share

The little Gigantic Snowflake

I just got back from a nice and snowy walk with my son. It was an extra special one because today marked Cleveland’s first big snow storm of the year — so we were really appreciating the falling snow and our pure and white snowy surroundings. Shortly into our walk David became fascinated with the way his boots felt as he traveled across the soft blanket of snow on the ground. He turned to me and said, “It’s cool how little pieces of snow can combine to make something so thick.” I loved his thought, and it got my mind racing. I thought about how in a world full of billions of people, we are each like a tiny tiny little snowflake. Small and insignificant? No way! It helped me to see how when we combine our beauty with others, we can really contribute to something amazing and substantial. Made me feel small and beautiful, yet connected to the world in big ways!


The image above is from nature photographer’s Steve Gettle’s website, and can be found within the following fascinating post on snowflake photography http://www.stevegettle.com/pages/2008/12/

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!  

click here to return to home page

Share

Overcoming Deficiency

About this video:
I watched this It’s Not Fair Having 12 Pairs Of Legs video at a TEDxAkron event (held at Akron University on 10-26-12) and was mesmerized by Aimee Mullins’ ability to “Overcome Deficiency”.
.
Here are some of my favorite thoughts she shares in this video:
.
“My legs could be wearable sculpture”
“Provoke the senses. Ignite the imagination”
“Change the conversation to one about Potential”
“We have the power to create whatever we want to create. Design yourself from a place of empowerment”
“Celebrate our disabilities and our heartbreaks…they make us beautiful.”  .

One reviewer wrote,
She makes it clear that with enough attitude, you could pull off anything.
.
What an incredible woman! A true master of illustrating potential. She made me question my own “disabilities”, and in doing so, made me feel like a superhero.
.
=   =   =   =   =   =   =
.
Here’s another video I really enjoyed that was shown at TEDxAkron.  It’s about a completely color blind man who Overcomes Deficiency by finding a very creative way to live in color…

 

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!  

click here to return to home page

Share

How Would You Respond?

Pretend you were a guest on this weekends The Regina Brett Show — a show about young widows and widowerscoping when death comes way too soon.
How would you have responded if asked the following questions?
(the questions below are all directly related to those that were discussed in the actual show. I invite you to respond to any of the questions that you connect with…even if you’re not a widow or widower)

1. Describe the person you are grieving? What were they like? How did they make you feel?
2. How do you feel about the label “widow” or “widower”? Or if you’re grieving the loss of someone other than a spouse…does another label, or your perception of societies view on death and grief, make you feel that you should experience death a certain way? Would you like a new label? What would it be? How would it help?
3. What kind of “sympathy comments” from others have helped you the most?
4. Do you forgive insensitive sympathy comments from others? Do you think they’re trying to further hurt you?
5. What are five words you would use to describe yourself before your loved one’s death? What are five words you would use to describe yourself after your loved one’s death? Are you still you?
6. What has helped you to keep your loved one’s memory and legacy alive?
7. Are you comfortable bringing your loved one’s love into the next phases of your life?
8. Are you still part of a couple (with this person who is now physically absent)? If so, in what ways?
9. Do you continue to nurture the relationships you had prior to your loved one’s loss (mutual friends, in-laws, etc)? Why or why not?
10. What does it look like to “move on”?
11. In terms of clothes and other personal items, how have you decided what to keep and what to part with? Do you have any advice to offer others?
12. When do you know you’re ready to date again?
13. Grief takes away so much. Does it give too? What gifts has grief offered you?
14. Can you still communicate with your loved one?…can you still reach them? If so, how?
15. If you do still communicate with your deceased loved one, do you think this interaction prevents you from “moving on”?…or does your ability to connect with them when needed allow you to feel more at peace and give you additional freedoms in creating your new reality?
.

.
.

Thank you for sharing in this.

And if you’d like to listen to the show that aired over the weekend, it can be found here:
http://www.reginabrettshow.org/programs/young-widows-and-widowers/

 

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!  

click here to return to home page

Share

A broken-nosed face for radio: HISTG on The Regina Brett Show!

INFO ON THIS WEEKENDS RADIO BROADCAST:
I had the privilege of being an in-studio guest during yesterday’s recording of The Regina Brett Show. The show tackled the subject of Widowed Grief & Growth.

Guests included: two captivating and soulfully expressive Young Widows (Kandis Schreiber and Debbie Schoonover), a broken-nosed Young Widower with a face for radio (me!), a brilliant and passionate Grief Counselor (Jane Vair Bissler)…and the discussion was lead by award-winning columnist and author Regina Brett.

I feel proud beyond words to have collaborated with such beautiful people.

I invite you to be a part of what was created. If interested, the show will air this Saturday, October 13 at 3:00 pm and re-air on Sunday, October 14 at 6:00 am on 89.7 WKSU, 89.3 WKRW Wooster, 91.5 WKRJ New Philadelphia, 89.1 WKSV Thompson, 90.7 WNRK Norwalk and 95.7 W239AZ Ashland.

The full broadcast is also available online at:
http://www.reginabrettshow.org/programs/young-widows-and-widowers/

.
.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!  

click here to return to home page

Share

Sign The Thank You Card Today!

.
YOU’RE INVITED TO SIGN THIS VERY SPECIAL “THANK YOU CARD”
How does this card work?

Join me in signing this card at any time and as often as you’d like.
Do you have anything that you’re thankful for?  Simply respond below and share any loving expression of thanks that you would like to offer the world.

Or if you’d prefer, you can leave your response within an identical post on my HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com Facebook page
.
~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
I’ve decided to make this post a Big, Permanent, & Ongoing part of HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.  Why?
.
Because . . .
-Being grateful is life-changing.
-Being grateful is only a thought away.
-Giving thanks is an act of giving, and I feel good whenever I give.
-I feel deeply connected to the world, therefore it feels most appropriate for me to share my thoughts of thanks with you/with the world.
~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
.
You can find my first submission below. I will be back to leave additional messages whenever I’m feeling grateful, or whenever I’m feeling low (thinking about all the goodness in my life always lifts my spirits, so I would like to get into the habit of returning to this post often).
.
If you’d like to leave your own message of thanks in the comment section below, please feel free to use my format, or whatever format feels best to you.
.
Or if you’d prefer to just read the collection of responses that are left over time, that’s great too. I’m grateful for You, and for your interest in giving thanks, and you’re welcome to share in this in whatever way you’d like.
.

.

Dear World,

Thank You for giving me this place to share life and express myself. Connectedness is the oxygen of my soul.
Thank You for surrounding me with loving people. “You complete me”.
Thank You for the double rainbow I saw with my son David on Sunday. Rainbows take my breath away and fill me with hope. And I learned something really cool too…David told me that his teacher taught him that whenever there is a 2nd rainbow, the colors in the 2nd one are reversed…and it was true, they were! Fascinating!
Thank You for the excitement that comes with knowing that I’ll always be a student.
Thank You for the misty rain that covered me on my bike ride this morning. I felt like I was riding through a cloud!…and it felt like the world was baptizing me! Renewing!
Thank You to welovegratitude.com for being a large part of the inspiration for this post. Such a beautiful site…overflowing with love.
Thank You for the Fall season. It reminds me of all the glory within Change. It reminds me that life involves constant change. It reminds me to welcome change; to seek out its beauty — its new and nourishing perspective is everywhere. All I have to do is open my eyes…look…and feel.
Thank You for the courage to love. Love makes me wonderfully vulnerable…and opens the doors and windows of my heart…and allows the soft and warm breeze of life to freely pass through…while whisking away the daily muck that I accumulate that clouds my vision. Long live love!
Thank You for imagination. It all starts with a spark of imagination (and then throw in some creativity, and let the party begin!). I imagine this first post as a seed, that grows and grows…and becomes massive…and stands tall and proud like a big Redwood tree!…and provides shelter, direction, and nourishment.
Thank You for the courage and bravery needed to take a chance…to explore…to try new things…while following the songs of my heart. Who knows what’s behind any door? Only one way to find out :)
.
Forever Grateful,
Eric
.
..
.
Share

Bellybuttons & Other Collectables

My son and I were just having a conversation about bellybuttons. He wanted to know why some people have “innie” bellybuttons and some people have “outies”. I did my best to try and explain the whole umbilical cord process, and how they cut it and tie it off after birth, and then how the remainder of the cord falls off days later. I’m not a bellybutton expert, but I imagine this final “fall off” phase is where the answer to his question lies? . . . being that everyone’s scrap of cord breaks off in its own unique way, resulting in an “innie” or “outie”? (Well, that’s how I explained it to David . . . please correct me if I’m wrong)

So, this conversation with my son made me think about his birth.
The doctor let me cut his umbilical cord (memorable!…definitely not something you do every day!)and then days later when it fell off, I didn’t have the heart to just throw it away.  I viewed it as a special part of the bridge that connected my son to Julie, and felt a need to save it, so I put it inside a couple Ziploc bags.  Eight years later, I still have it! (I was going to post a pic of it, but I decided that sharing the story was probably enough!)
.
Do you have an interesting “memento” story to share?  Or an unusual collection of anything?  Maybe something that many people would never think about saving, but for some reason, you felt an attachment to it?
What do you like to save or collect? Why?
.
.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Wise Cave Dweller

 

What grief is teaching me:
If you can’t change a situation, change how you feel about that situation.

I’m learning how powerful that thought is, and how much it applies to shrinking grief or any other painful or undesirable emotion. With these thoughts in mind, the big question then becomes “How do I change how I feel?”

I’ve read and reflected quite a bit on this subject. Much of what I’ve read emphasizes the importance of first addressing the “Why?“. Determining Why it’s important to change a feeling/behavior will illuminate the individual steps that make up the path to How I should go about making a desired change.
.
Another really big thing I’ve experienced often, when any kind of change is being observed/discussed, is how important it is for me to realize that I have a say in what happens to me. And I believe one of the best ways for me to see that “I have a say”, is to look at any situation and determine which variables I have control over . . . then, address these potent variables in a hopeful way.
.
Example:
Can I bring Julie or any loved one “back”?
No.
So this is not a controllable variable.
.
But, can I connect with her love, if and when needed?
Yes.
So this is a controllable variable (& one that I’ve found to be one of my strongest).
.
In summary, I’m seeing that grief is teaching me a valuable skill set that applies to so much of life:
1. Determine WHY I want to change something.
2. The realization of my WHY, and the resulting tidal wave of positive reinforcement that this brings, will help me meet all the demands related to HOW I go about making a change.
3. In order for any of this to matter, I have to believe that “I have a say” in my situation/what I experience. And one of the most empowering ways I’ve found to remind myself that I do have a say, is to look at all of the variables of any situation . . . determine which ones I have control of . . . and then address the controllable ones in a hopeful way.
.
.
Comments on any of the above are welcome.
Thank you for listening . . . and for sharing any thoughts you have.
Thanks for listening . . . and for sharing any thoughts you have.
What is grief teaching you?
.
.
.
.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Serenade

Bonnie Raitt: Take My Love With You

I like this song. I like its slow steady reassuring sound and lyrics. And when I listen to it I can hear loved ones singing it to me . . . Julie, my dad, my grandparents . . . and others who are no longer physically present. I can feel them serenading me and reminding me that they’re still around.

Love will find a way.

.

.

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

 

Share

Vulnerability

Within my free online book, I mention the idea that Grief for me was largely about the fear of Disconnect. I had this beautiful love affair with my wife and then one day it was suddenly gone. She was impossibly gone. Impossibly dead. And I found the resulting feelings of Disconnect to be incredibly painful.

Well, I’m continuing to learn that everything is not gone, it’s just different. This realization is very comforting to me. It addresses the large and painful fear of disconnect weapon that Grief has in its arsenal. I’ve discovered that Love Will Always Find a Way, and love has found a way. I’ve witnessed time and time again how love has the ability to softly lay down one of Griefs biggest weapons — Fear, fear of disconnect — and with that disarmament comes a nourishing peace that settles my frightened soul. I’m ok. I just get scared sometimes. And rightly so.

If these thoughts resonate with you, I encourage you to watch a TED video on Youtube by Brene Brown called “The Power Of Vulnerability”. (a link to the video is provided at the end of this post.) I watched it for the first time last night and felt a big connection to grief and suffering. I also see a big connection to why I share my experiences with you here. I share myself and my most intimate thoughts so publicly with you because I see the value in being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is freeing, healing. My soul aches to be as free as possible.  I have so much love to share.  I want to shine, and fly, and I don’t want to do it alone. I want to connect and share life with you…and be vulnerable together.
.
.
Thank you for listening and for being vulnerable with me.
.
.
And here are some notes I took from the Brene Brown video:
~You can’t selectively numb emotion. When we attempt to numb a particular emotion such as vulnerability, we also numb other things such as joy, happiness, and gratitude
~Shame & Fear is what makes up “excruciating vulnerability”
~When you ask people about love…they tell you about heartache. When you ask people about connection…they tell you about disconnection. Why is this?? because Connection is why we’re here…it’s Very important to us…so it’s natural to Have A Fear Of Disconnection.
~Do we have to fear disconnection? No.
~What are some principle factors that determine whether we fear disconnection:
1. Have/Develop a sense of WORTHINESS (Do you believe your worthy of Love? Do you believe that you’re Enough?)
2. Have/Develop COURAGE (to be imperfect)
3. Have/Develop COMPASSION (to be kind to yourself…which allows you to be kind to others)
4. Have/Develop CONNECTION (with Life. this involves a willingness to let go of who you think you should be, in order to be yourself)
.
Brene Brown mentions that being vulnerable is all about Loving Even When There’s No Guarantee. Isn’t that a beautiful and thought provoking statement? And I would like to add to her healing thought by contributing the idea that I believe whenever we love, There IS A Guarantee. Not that our relationship will never Be Different…but that the love that is created, will Always exist. It’s there when it’s created, and it’s still there and accessible today. Guaranteed. It just may take some time to learn how to connect with it. Understandable. Any kind of change requires growth. . .and death certainly is a big change.
.
Here’s a link to the video if you’d like to reflect more on all this stuff…

.
.
.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Three Words

Curious, Loving, Encouraging

.
What 3 words. . .do you choose. . .to define you?
(words that define you today. . .or define who you’re becoming)

 

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

David’s Light Show

We went to see some fireworks over Labor Day weekend and ended up purchasing a plastic light-up kids sword from one of the vendors. After the fireworks were over David was showing us some of his moves!…and we discovered that when the sword was in motion it had a really cool effect on film!

 

May the force be with you!

 

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

 

Share

Fear Is Ok

FEAR IS OK

(the comments below were taken from a Northshore P.R.E.P.S. gymnastics “Keys to Success” document and discuss ways in which parents can help their kids overcome Fear in gymnastics. I appreciated the guidance. It also made me think about how Fear plays a significant role in Grief, and how these same thought patterns may also help to make grief less scary)

“I can’t” means it is not possible for that person to do something. This is FAILURE BEFORE TRYING, which is negative self-confidence. NEGATIVE SELF-CONFIDENCE IS A FEELING. That feeling my be real or imagined, but it is a feeling. Everyone is entitled to his or her own feelings. Telling someone “YES, YOU CAN” only tells the person that they cannot trust their own feelings and they are a failure.
So what might you do? CHANGE THE WORD “CAN’T”, TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE. Try to help the child REPLACE THE WORD “CAN’T” WITH ANOTHER FEELING WORD. “I’m scared, I need help, it’s too hard, I don’t know how to do it.” Once they have changed the word to another feeling word, you have something tangible to work with. (Personalize the progression of the skill for the child so the child can be successful.)
Get down to the child’s level by asking questions “Are you scared, etc. rather that saying “Trust me – you can.” (Don’t trust yourself, you don’t know what you are talking about.) Don’t undermine self-trust. Don’t argue with them. “Would it be less scary if we do it together? Or would it be less scary if I lowered the bar and we did it slowly?”
BEING SCARED IS NORMAL AND NATURAL AND IT’S OK! Children need to learn to deal with the feeling. They need to learn to deal with anxiety and learn how to handle it. It’s not a red light; it’s a yellow light. It’s learning how to take risk and finding the result is FUN NOT FAILURE. Being careful. Do your homework. Lower the progression, the beam, the bars, etc. Take the fear out of risk. Fear does not have to make sense. It’s an emotion. Acknowledge fear and work together to overcome it.
.
.
.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Show Life That You Have a 1000 Reasons To Smile

.
“When life gives you a Hundred reasons to cry,

show life that you have a Thousand reasons to smile.”
~Author Unknown

 

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

 

Share

Meaning Of Life (part2)

I believe we are each flawless, perfect miracles.  It’s probably fair to say that we all need a little dusting off from time to time to fully appreciate the beauty that is us…but underneath any life debris that we each may have collected, I believe is perfection. This is a given to me.

So the question becomes, where does all the interference come from?
If we’re each perfect, why isn’t there more harmony in the world?

I posted some thoughts the other day about The Meaning of Life…and a new thought just occurred to me. Is there anything in life that has the power to hold us back and keep us from shining, other than ourselves?

So maybe The Meaning of Life simply involves becoming masters of our thoughts (specifically, loving thoughts)?

Seems to me that those who have become proficient at having loving thoughts experience the greatest of this life’s riches:  peace/harmony/balance/joy/fulfillment/love/flow/happiness.

Wow, maybe I just discovered the Meaning of Life?!!

If I was on the game show Jeopardy right now, and Alex asked me what my big final round response would be to:
THE PURSUIT OF MASTERING ONE’S OWN THOUGHTS…

I would answer “WHAT IS, THE MEANING OF LIFE?

I wonder if I would win?

Tough question, but I’m having fun thinking about it.
Hope you too are having fun and kicking butt in your game of life!

 

.

(9/28/12 update:  if you’re enjoying this Meaning of Life discussion, I invite you to dive deeper into the subject and check out the passionate exchanges I was involved in at the Sunny Day Talks blog site)

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Stay Thirsty My Friends


.
“I don’t always think about grief, but when I do, I choose HoneyIShrunkTheGrief dot com. Stay thirsty my friends.” ~The Most Interesting Man In The World

.

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Identifying Feelings

.

My son came home with a stack of papers from his first day of school. One in particular caught my attention and made me an instant fan of his new teacher.

The “How Do I Feel Today?” handout (shown in the pic above) was given to David and his classmates. Each student was asked to color the figures that represented how they were feeling.

My son colored “Satisfied” and “Happy”, which I felt grateful to see, as those are both desired emotions that feel good.  But even if he was experiencing a less “feel good” emotion, I still would have praised him…for the wonderful act of identifying the feelings that he was having.

I think this classroom handout is golden, and I’d like to incorporate it into my life. It teaches kids — and parents like me! — the importance of reflecting on what they’re feeling. This act is freeing because by addressing our feelings, it opens up millions of doors and pathways inside us, allowing things to flow…things like empowering thoughts and new ideas…things that show us how to manage whatever classroom activity life is currently presenting to us.

Thanks for listening. I feel honored to share my thoughts/feelings with you…and as always, I welcome your thoughts.
How do you feel about all this?
Do you feel it’s beneficial to recognize your feelings?…or can you operate just as well by letting your subconscious handle that stuff, and maybe you prefer to just react instinctively?  
.
Hmm, those last questions now have me thinking even deeper about this. Maybe if we get into the habit of pausing periodically to identify our feelings…and get into the habit of then proceeding in a manner that we determine to be the best course of action for things such as re-gaining balance…or feeling happiness/joy/harmony…maybe through the course of repetitive behaviors like that….our initial reactions, and our outcomes, will become more desirable/beneficial? And after we become more proficient at this whole process — one that involves Identifying and Thinking about how we choose to handle a feeling — I bet our repetitive “thinking” successes shift to a process that occurs on more of an Automatic level…one that doesn’t involve as much thinking, because the nature in which we address our feelings has then become a healthful habit…allowing us to expend more of our energy in different areas of personal growth.
.
Some food to think about / to feel about :)
.
.
.
.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

My Printer Is Smarter Than a Fortune Cookie

While recently installing a new printer, the following thought provoking message popped up on my computer screen:

.
“Now time and location are irrelevant”
.
I smiled because the message reminded me of death.
When it comes to accessing love, death is teaching me that “time and location are irrelevant”. My deceased loved ones have transformed into something even greater. They are very much alive in my heart, and I continue to be amazed how they are still available anytime I need them.

More comforting proof that love will always find a way!

..

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

That Smurfs!

.

 

Ughh…I forgot to get french toast sticks at the grocery store yesterday.
I usually eat oatmeal for breakfast, but for some reason I’m really craving french toast sticks right now!

David and the neighborhood kids taught me to yell out, “That Smurfs!” when I need to get out any frustrations.  They know I don’t like it when they say “that sucks”, so they came up with an alternative “G rated” word that they could safely use. I’m not even sure what “smurfs” have to do with anything, but I must say that it makes me laugh…and it made me forgot all about my tragic french toast sticks dilemma just now!

Do you have a “G rated” thing that you or your kids say that makes you feel better when an unwanted thing happens? (Like if you bump your head hard on something…or somebody cuts you off in traffic…or if you ram your shoeless toe into a corner…or you forget your french toast sticks!)
.
What innocent and fun thing do you say when you feel like swearing but don’t want to swear?!
.
.
.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Growing Pains


Here’s a recent conversation about pain&growth I had with my 8yr old son that warmed my heart…


David:
“Daddy, I woke in the middle of the night because my legs hurt really bad. I think it was Growing Pains.”
Daddy: “Awe, ouch. I’m sorry.”
David: “Do Growing Pains mean I’m growing?”
Daddy: “Yes, I believe they do.”
David: “Oh good. That’s what I was thinking about during them, and it made me feel better.”

 

..

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Meaning of Life

.
What do you think the Meaning of Life is? 

Is it simply, Love?
Is it the pursuit of being an unconditional “lover of all things” (including one’s own self)?…the pursuit of giving and receiving love freely?

Is the Meaning of Life, to share?
To pursue our own happiness, using our own gifts (because we each are already blessed with everything we need), while at the same time giving freely of ourselves to the world (because we are so intimately connected to everyone and everything, we feel whole when we give)?

Is the Meaning of Life to have Hope for more (hope for a greater awareness/understanding/perspective), while at the same time being Grateful for the everything that we already have?
.
Does the Meaning of Life involve just being…being comfortable with being yourself? Could you imagine, if all we were meant to do is simply Be?  If all the Meaning of Life consisted of was listening to and following our hearts?
How wonderful that would be :)
.

Or maybe the Meaning of Life is all about making music together (as is beautifully illustrated in this Under Pressure song from the Happy Feet 2 movie)…

.

Or is the Meaning of Life something else?
And does it vary for everyone?
Or are we all on a different yet identical journey?

.
Does your life feel meaningful?
When do you feel most connected to who and what you were created to be?
.
What are your thoughts on the Meaning of Life?

 

.

(9/28/12 update:  if you’re enjoying this Meaning of Life discussion, I invite you to dive deeper into the subject and check out the passionate exchanges I was recently involved in at the Sunny Day Talks blog site)

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Standing With Rascal / Running With Oscar

.
What an inspirational athlete . . .

“You’re not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have.” ~Oscar Pistorius, the first amputee runner to compete at an Olympic Games (2012 Summer Olympics, 400m and 4 x 400m relay)

.

And a song titled Stand by Rascal Flats.
In honor of the all powerful, forever accessible, driving spark of love in us all. . .

..

.

Happy Standing!   Happy Running!

.

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Dance with me?

I love how this beautiful (Matt Harding & Co.) video below reminds me of how closely connected we are to people from all over the world. This video contains a captivating song with soulful lyrics (“Trip The Light” by Alicia Lemke). It contains joyful people dancing from all over the world. Dancing unites souls. We’re such physical creatures on the surface, but dancing has the ability to transcend our shells, and allows our truest selves to shine…making souls effortlessly connect and flow. I love anything that can do that! And I love this video! It’s such a rewarding 4min and 53second journey. Watch it with me? Dance with me? *Caution: I have two big left feet Lol…but I’m not sitting this one out!…it looks like too much fun! Join me:)
p.s. Cleveland, Ohio even makes an appearance at 3:26! . . .

.

.

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

One of the top 100 pets

.
I think my son loves our cat Zodi. He just announced, “Zodi has to be at least one of the top 100 cats in the world.”

I have to agree with him. She sure is a lovable friend.

Do you have a pet that’s at least one of the top 100 in the world, to you?  If so, please tell me something about them…name, why they are special to you, or anything you’d like to share :)

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

2012 Olympics

 

I’m excited for the Olympics! I love watching the world’s top athletes compete. I love witnessing the intensity and focus. I love seeing the end result of so much preparation and determination. I love sharing in the athletes victories and defeats. I love seeing competitors proud of their accomplishments, regardless of what place they finished in. I love studying bodies in motion. And I love the way the Olympics help us to appreciate, admire, and unite people from all over the world.
.
.
What do you enjoy about the Olympics?

 

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Top Secret

.

Do you have a secret?…a secret that helps you to get through this life in One semi-stable(lol) and happy piece?

.

 .

A friend recently texted me and asked, “What’s your secret?”.
I replied, “I’m learning that my thoughts are my secret. I’m the only one, and only thing, responsible for my happiness. If I live with constant thoughts of Love and Gratitude — then no matter what my situation — my world will always be a rich and loving one.”

.

Do you have a secret?…one that helps you to manage your life?…one that consistently brings good into your world?

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

HoneyIShrunkTheGrief’s TV debut on abc’s NewsChannel5

Thank you to abc’s News Channel 5 for including me in the Technology/Grieving piece that aired on TV in Cleveland last night. If you didn’t get a chance to see it, a video of the 7/17/12 broadcast can be found on Channel5’s webpage by clicking here.

…a pic of me during the Channel5 interview
.
.
.
How has technology influenced the way you grieve?
.
.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Believe!

 

BELIEVE!

I believe that Believing makes All the difference.

I believe You are Important.  Great.  Needed.
I believe I am Important.  Great.  Needed.


I believe that Believing is the seed that starts and finishes Everything.


What do you believe?


~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Speech! Speech!

I just returned from the Volunteer Breakfast at my son’s elementary school.  The Volunteer Breakfast is a special “Thank You” event held for parents and other community members who have volunteered at the school throughout the year.  I’ve been to these breakfast’s before, and they’re always very nice, but this one was the best yet!…and I’m excited to share a story about why this year’s breakfast was extra special!

While we were all eating, the school’s principal made some informative announcements about important things going on at our school and within our district.  She also extended a big and heartfelt thank you to all the parents and community members who have donated their time throughout the year.  As a token of her appreciation, she purchased a bunch of colorful spring plants that were placed on the tables throughout the room, and then had a raffle and drew names until all the plants available were given away to winning volunteers to take home.

Well guess what?!  She drew my name and I won a plant!  Sweet!

My new plant! Isn’t she a beaut! Please say a prayer for her. My thumbs are anything but green, so she likely won’t make it through the week!

Winning the plant felt pretty good, but things soon got even better!. . .

I think when the principal pulled my name out of the basket for the plant drawing, it reminded her of my new book (which she had recently read when it was first released last month) because she then proceeded to tell everyone in the room some really kind things about it!  What a wonderful and unexpected surprise!  But wait, there’s more!!  She then hands the mic to me and asks if I could give a 30 second speech about the book!!  YiKes, I was so unprepared for this, but So grateful for the opportunity!  I tried to keep it short and sweet, and gave a quick talk explaining what my book was about, and where it could be found (www.HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com).

Pretty great morning huh?!  Although I should also add that my mind has been racing ever since I gave my “speech”.  I don’t feel like I crashed and burned, but I also feel like I could have done a much better job.  Did you ever leave a voicemail on someone’s phone and wish you could get a “do-over”?  That’s exactly how I feel.  I wanted my moment in the sun to be just right, but I’m afraid it was far from it.  But I also realize that I did the best I could, and what else can I do, right?  Also, when I returned the mic to her, she continued on a bit more with her positive review of my book…so I think her additional final comments very much helped to express some of what was probably lacking in my description (she’s The Best!).

It’s crazy, I spend five years of my life writing a book that I feel so passionate about, and yet I have difficulty summarizing it, clearly, in 30 seconds.  I wish I would have done better.  But of course I can’t go back and do it again…but, I can learn from this experience, and work to make any future speeches better.  Maybe it’s time for me to head to one of those Toastmasters groups that teaches people how to be better public speakers?  I’m sure this would be well worth my time…as there so many things in life where good communication skills are extremely valuable.

an invitation to you…
Do you have a memorable, big or small, public speech that you gave?  How did it go?  How did it make you feel? 

Have you had any experience with Toastmasters or any other kind of speech instruction that helped you to be a better public speaker?  

Do you have any public speaking tips to offer?…things that help you to comfortably, confidently, and clearly communicate your message? 

I just started reading Shania Twain’s autobiography and she talks about performing as a child, and how she would look above people’s heads when she got on stage.  Does that help?…help you to relax and help the thoughts flow more freely?  And I remember one of the old Brady Bunch episodes where one of the kids was taking their drivers test and was told to picture the instructor in their underwear to make the situation lighter, more comical.  Does that help?! 

What helps???  Help! 

(responses can be left below.  Thanks!!).

.
.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Free hug! Get yours today!

Hello dear readers!  I have some exciting news to share!
HoneyIShrunkTheGrief (HISTG) is now on Facebook and Twitter!!

“Follow”  HISTG on TWITTER . . .
https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
“Like”  HISTG on FACEBOOK . . .
http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief

My Facebook and Twitter pages are brand new, and they are in desperate need of some followers!  To help entice you to become one, I’ve created the following Incentive Program (in which you have been automatically enrolled…Lucky!).  Here’s how it works:

Anyone who goes to my book FACEBOOK page and clicks on the small rectangular shaped “Like” button (the one at the top of the page, under the rose pic that makes up my page banner), OR, anyone who goes to my book TWITTER page and clicks on the “Follow” button…gets….are you ready for this? (it’s Big – 6’3″ big!). . .it’s. . .it’s . . .
a GiaNT EricV Bear Hug!!!
(*some exclusions apply…see details below)

*Limited Time Offer! Act Now! THE FIRST 100 PEOPLE to “Like” my Facebook page, or “Follow” my Twitter page, will receive this Free digital hug! Supplies are limited…don’t miss out on this one-of-a-kind opportunity! I give Really Good Hugs! Get yours today!!

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
*Bonus deal! — New subscribers to my blog are also eligible (to become a subscriber, click on the “Register” link on the right side of my blog home page)!

**Exception — If you are in great need of a hug, the digital hug above may be redeemed even if you don’t subscribe to any of my HISTG pages
~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Ok, so my Incentive Program is not a trip to Hawaii, but the next best thing, no?!  Well, likely not even the next best thing…but I at least wanted to offer you some kind of loving gesture for helping me to spread the word about my book.  Thank You for any book support you are willing to provide.

Also…
HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com has been live for one month now.  During that time I’ve been working hard at trying to promote the site, to share it with others.  Aside from the FB & Twitter news I mentioned above, here are some of the other promotional things I’ve been working on:

~I’ve invited fellow members of a Health Educators listserv to the HISTG website;
~I’ve reached out to fellow widow/ers online;
~I’m in the process of creating business cards;
~I’m in the process of creating a bulletin board flyer that I can post around town (libraries, restaurants, etc);
~I’ve accepted an invite to be a contributing author on a friend’s blog (click here for my first SunnyDayTalks blog post…if you could use some sunshine in your day, this is a Great place to go!  Here you’ll find a collection of some really wonderful posts written by 4 beautiful women.  I feel honored to be the newest member of their sunny team!)

An invitation to you…
I believe in my book, if you do too, would you help me promote it?  I could really use your help!  I’m one person with limited influence and resources, but with your help, this book/blog/website could be so much more!!

How you can help
Do you have a HISTG website promotion idea that could possibly help me to reach lots of people??  If so, Please share it with me!!  I would greatly appreciate your help!!  Ideas can be left in the comment section below this post, or can be emailed to me at EricV@HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com

Would you help me hang a few of my HISTG bulletin board flyers around your neighborhood??  This would be a HUGE help, as it would allow information about my website to spread far across the lands!  If you’re willing to hang a few of my flyers up, please email me and let me know, and I will reply back with an email Word.doc attachment of a downloadable file of the HISTG website flyer I created.  Then, if you would be so kind to print off a couple copies, and hang them up at the (respectable Lol) places that you frequent, I would be very grateful!   

What’s in it for you??
Love!!  Lots of love!!!…the loving satisfaction that you get when you help out somebody in need.  And heck, I’ll even throw in another digital hug!!!!  And if you’re within the Cleveland, OH area, I’d be thrilled to give you an “in person” hug too!!

Please help me spread some HISTG love!
Write me today with your ideas!  EricV@HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com

Thank You!!

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

Teamwork/Tough Mudder!

.
Hello friends!  How are you?
I’m feeling extra tough!
I recently participated in an event that has left me feeling capable of doing anything!  Got a problem you need help with (said in my deepest superhero voice)??…dant-da-da-daaa…Stand Back, I will take care of it for you!!

A week and a half ago, on April 14, 2012, I completed the Tough Mudder event held at the South Amherst Sandstone Quarry in Ohio.  It was a 12mile long  all-terrain obstacle course designed by British Special Forces, that included 27 challenging obstacles (picture a masochistic playground made for adults!).  The event is not timed, because it’s not about time.  It was designed to be “a test of all around strength, stamina, mental grit, and camaraderie”.  If interested, here’s a link to the official web site, which has a short video to give you some idea of what the course is like…http://toughmudder.com/

Looks pretty fantastic doesn’t it?!!  Yeah, I think so too!:)  And it was every bit as amazing as I hoped it would be.  What made it so memorable?  A few things stand out in my mind.  For one, I appreciated all the unique challenges that the course presented…it highlighted the fact that the human mind/body, when motivated, can accomplish some really amazing things.  More than anything else, the thing I appreciated most from this event was the fact that the course forced you to work together.  And like with so many things in life, great things can be accomplished when working as a team.

I viewed my team as one consisting of every person on the course that day.  Two members of this team, my running partners Marcus and Matt, had an exceptionally big and wonderful influence on me.  These two guys were a huge factor in me even signing up for the event.  I had an interest in doing it from the start, but I likely would not have registered had it not been for their encouragement and support.  So a Big THANK YOU goes out to Marcus and Matt for inviting me to join them that day.

 

I also had two other running partners close to my heart that day, and I put their initials on my race shoes to remind me of their constant presence (for more on this, see the Memorial chapter in my book, Ch.6)

 

My son David often comes with me to running events, but because this course was not jogging stroller friendly(!), and because it typically takes over three hours to complete, I decided that this wasn’t the most kid friendly race, so I made other arrangements for him.  I was happy to have a special piece of him with me though.  Last year, in Sept of 2011, he used permanent markers and made me the coolest t-shirt for another obstacle filled race called the Warrior Dash (see the end of Ch9 for my Warrior Dash pic).

He drew each of the obstacles from that race onto a white t-shirt, then added a “check off box” — so that I could later put a check mark indicating that I had conquered each obstacle.  I had saved his very special homemade shirt, and excitedly dug it out to wear to Tough Mudder.  Wearing it that day made me feel like I had on an invincible coat of armor.

 

We arrived at Tough Mudder to find long lines and a huge crowd (over 13,000 participated in the two day event!).  We parked our cars in a nearby lot, and waited in line to board one of the many buses that were taking people to the course.  Excitement levels were high, and we all had little kid grins on our faces!

We eventually got our race bib, which we pinned to our shirts like we had done in so many other races that we ran in – but this event was a little different — and they wrote our identifying numbers in permanent marker all over our bodies as well (forehead, arm, and leg).

.
The event itself represented to me everything that life should be…it was challenging, rewarding, satisfying, and shared with good friends.  It will forever remain one of my most treasured memories.


Marcus (yellow shirt in pic above) helping me (middle of pic) up the Half Pipe.  This obstacle was my favorite on the course.  It required such teamwork and trust.  If you fell (as participants waiting in line got to witness was something that happened often) you typically would land very hard on the rough wooden board, and would get banged up as you slid to the bottom.  After feeling very grateful for being helped safely to the top, I then took a turn helping up a bunch of fellow mudders.  I’ll Never forget the experience of looking down and locking eyes with individual members of the crowd…that brief but intimate and intense moment shared with a stranger (who felt like anything but)…who was letting you know “I’m about to run and jump…and reach for your hand.  I need you.  Be there for me”.  I felt such love for these people that I didn’t even know, and it was a great reminder to me to treat anyone I come in contact with as if they were my brother, son, or mother…because in so many ways, I believe that’s exactly what we are to each other — Family.

 

 

Thank You for reading and for sharing in my exciting day!!

Eric V

an invitation to you…
What makes you feel capable of doing anything?

And, do you have any stories to share involving a team accomplishment — BIG or small — that you witnessed or were a part of?…some life event that would have been much more difficult without a team effort?

(responses can be left below.  Thanks!)

 

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share

I Love You, unless…

.
…you’re different.

The title above — I Love You, unless you’re different is my own personal interpretation/translation of a brilliant blog post I just read (written by Dan Pearce) titled I’m Christian, unless you’re gay….

Before I proceed with sharing a link to Dan’s amazing post, I have some questions for you — important questions that you may find to be challenging.  Questions that I asked myself when deciding if I wanted to write a blog about his article:

What do you feel inside when reading the title of Dan’s post I’m Christian, unless you’re gay…?  Fear?  Conflict?  Controversy?  The need to fight and defend?…(Fight and defend what?)  Or maybe you feel the need to stop reading and run?…(Run from what?)

Regardless of whatever strong emotions you may presently be feeling, I ask you to momentarily put them aside and give Dan’s post the chance it deserves.  I believe with all my heart that doing so will be extremely worthwhile – his post contains a tremendous power to both shrink grief and save the world.

For those still feeling a sense of conflict/fear/controversy (myself included), I’d like to put the title of Dan’s blog next to my made-up translation of his title.  This act helped to ease the tension I felt in my mind, and my hope is that maybe it can do the same for you.
(note:  this is not a literal translation; only one that I felt captured the essence of his entire post, and helped me to further open my eyes to his important message)

The title of Dan’s article I’m about to share with you is:
I’m Christian, unless you’re gay…
And here’s the alternate title I made for Dan’s article:
I Love You, unless you’re different

Personally, I like his title better.  I think it’s brilliant because it’s provoking and warrants a response.  It’s controversial and appeals to the side of me that needs to grow by stepping outside of my comfort zone.  But, I fear that it may be so controversial that people will run from it and miss out on all the goodness within.  I also fear something perhaps even worse – that people will appreciate his message, but will not share it out of fear of how others will react (a category I was close to falling into).

So what is his message about anyway, and why do I think it’s so important?
His message is about loving one another and loving ourselves. 

Why do I think his article is capable of both shrinking grief and saving the world?  Because if I live my life with a thought process founded on I Love You, unless you’re different, that means that I have no choice but to apply that same shortsighted logic to myself…and thus my perception of myself, out of habit – like it or not – automatically defers to: I Love Myself, unless I perceive myself as different.

So not only does this kind of thinking (I love you, unless you’re different) harm others by feeding a false perception that “I’m better than you”, but it also has a direct harmful impact on me.  Everything in this world is so closely connected; it’s impossible to add to the destruction of others without destroying myself in the process.

POWERFUL stuff.

It now gives me great pleasure to share the blog post responsible for this discussion.  I do not know this fellow single-dad-blogger, nor was I aware of his writings until just yesterday — but what I do know is that the first post I’ve ever read of his was one of the most brilliant and inspirational things I have ever come across.  And apparently I’m not the only one drawn to what he has to say, as since its creation in November of 2011, his post has already been read by millions of people around the world.
To access his blog/post, click on the link directly below…

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
“I’m Christian, unless you’re gay…”
by Dan Pearce
~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

.
Thanks for the great post Dan.
I’m very happy to help spread your golden message.

Love Heals — Grief, and everything else too.

EricV

an invitation to you…

Even though I instantly connected with Dan’s message and wanted to share it with you here on my site, I was hesitant to do so.  I feared your negative reaction.  But it was also that very same fact (being afraid) that told me I needed to explore the subject further.
Do you find value in Dan’s message?  If so, are you going to take Dan up on his invitation to share his post with others?
For what it’s worth, I can tell you from my own experience that sharing it feels very freeing.  I believe this stems from a sense of satisfaction for standing up for what I believe in, rather than living a life that’s controlled by my fears of how others may react (if interested, more can be read on Fear in the last section of Chapter 8 of my book).  I encourage you to share his message with others.  As Dan so beautifully states at the end of his post, “If it’s important to you, too, please share it. If you believe its message needs to be spread, please share it. Use your voice for that which it was meant.  Use your voice to embolden the world. Use your voice to say, “enough is enough.” Use your voice to stand up and declare that there is no other way besides love.  With all my heart. Please.”

Dan’s thought provoking post caused me to ask myself a lot of soulful questions…questions that I’d now like to offer to you.
Do you feel the need to “be better” than others?  Why?  Do you feel love when you judge?  Do you feel love when someone judges you?  Do you think there’s a relationship between those who judge others often and those who judge themselves often?  Do those who judge others often, feel good about themselves?  Do you grow when you’re criticized and made to feel that you don’t belong?…or do you grow when you’re welcomed, accepted, and loved?
Does God want us to Love or Judge?
Or to take religion out of the equation, a better question might be to simply ask…
Do You want to Love or Judge?
Why?

Dan wrote the article I just shared in November of 2011.  Since then, he has written several very touching and eye-opening follow-up posts based on written and video responses from his readers.  If interested, these beautiful follow-up stories can be found within the pages of his single dad laughing blog, or by clicking here.

.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~
Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
Now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/EricVaiksnoras
Check out my book! http://www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com/book/
Feeling grateful? or feeling low? Sign the Thank You Card!

click here to return to home page

Share