10 Years

(posted on my HoneyIShrunkTheGrief Facebook page on 3/31/14)

 

In loving memory
JULIE S. VAIKSNORAS
May 3, 1976 – March 31, 2004

Today is the 10th anniversary of Julie’s death.
She died early in the morning, shortly after midnight.
Late last night, around the same time that she died, I found myself needing to relive the final moments of her death. I thought about them in great detail. They were the most painful, messy, ugly moments of my life.
When I woke this morning, I felt a sense of renewal. I also felt a lot of energy that needed to come out, so I decided to go for a run. The run felt really good. During it I was reflecting on why I relived those final moments last night. They hurt so bad — like her death was happening all over again. I concluded that for me it was healing to retell those experiences. They need to be retold at times. They happened, and they too deserve to be recognized. I also realized that as painful as her death was, reliving that moment last night allowed me to face today with continued hope.
More than anything, I am feeling the need to softly proclaim, “I love you, Julie.”
More than anything, I am feeling the need to loudly proclaim, “I love you, Julie!”
I feel like climbing the tallest mountain and shouting it to the world, but that’s not realistic. So I’ll shout it from this Facebook mountain instead.

“I love you, Julie”
today and always

 

 

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