Gonna Fly Now

Nothing like starting the day with a little Rocky inspiration!
Here’s the “Gonna Fly Now” song and steps climbing scene.

Whatever steps you’re climbing today,
I hope you rise to the top…and do a little dance when you get there!

 

 

 

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Julie’s gift

I just found a gift from Julie that I haven’t seen in the longest time. It’s a special book that she had given me on our wedding day. She highlighted five pages that she wanted me to read. I just went through her highlighted pages and feel overwhelmed with emotion. More than anything, I feel loved. What a tremendous feeling that is. I took 8 pictures to share with you. This book is proof to me that love is a gift that keeps on giving. Love stories never have endings. Love will find a way.

 

 

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Deep sea diving…in a wheelchair!!

Sue Austin teaches about the power of association.

She associates her wheelchair with thoughts of freedom, and she was curious as to why so many people associate the wheelchair with thoughts of limitation.

One day she was thinking about another form of physical aid — scuba gear — and she was curious as to why so many people associate that form of aid with thoughts of excitement and adventure.

She began to realize that she had the power to, as she puts it, “transform preconceptions by re-envisioning the familiar”. This awareness led to the birth of her underwater wheelchair!

Watch this stunning video and see her gracefully demonstrate the freedom that comes from creating positive associations. She gives such hope that associations can be anything we want them to be!


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Light as a Feather, & Tough as Dragon Scales!

“Light as a feather, and tough as dragon scales!” 

That was a quote an online retailer used to describe a pair of running shoes I’m considering buying. I love that quote! It paints such a fun and captivating picture in my mind — one that makes me think about Love. Wouldn’t that quote be a wonderful way to define Love? It also gets me thinking about my soul. I want to make it a lifelong priority to forge a soul that can be defined using that quote. I feel like I was born with such a soul, and then it got buried a bit. Now I see my task as one that involves looking for beams of its never-ending light, while clearing life’s rubble and dust so it can once again be restored to its original from-the-factory condition…one that was/is radiant and pristine…one that serves as a beacon to remind me that I’m still, “light as a feather, and tough as dragon scales!”

 

 

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The little Gigantic Snowflake

I just got back from a nice and snowy walk with my son. It was an extra special one because today marked Cleveland’s first big snow storm of the year — so we were really appreciating the falling snow and our pure and white snowy surroundings. Shortly into our walk David became fascinated with the way his boots felt as he traveled across the soft blanket of snow on the ground. He turned to me and said, “It’s cool how little pieces of snow can combine to make something so thick.” I loved his thought, and it got my mind racing. I thought about how in a world full of billions of people, we are each like a tiny tiny little snowflake. Small and insignificant? No way! It helped me to see how when we combine our beauty with others, we can really contribute to something amazing and substantial. Made me feel small and beautiful, yet connected to the world in big ways!


The image above is from nature photographer’s Steve Gettle’s website, and can be found within the following fascinating post on snowflake photography http://www.stevegettle.com/pages/2008/12/

 

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Overcoming Deficiency

About this video:
I watched this It’s Not Fair Having 12 Pairs Of Legs video at a TEDxAkron event (held at Akron University on 10-26-12) and was mesmerized by Aimee Mullins’ ability to “Overcome Deficiency”.
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Here are some of my favorite thoughts she shares in this video:
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“My legs could be wearable sculpture”
“Provoke the senses. Ignite the imagination”
“Change the conversation to one about Potential”
“We have the power to create whatever we want to create. Design yourself from a place of empowerment”
“Celebrate our disabilities and our heartbreaks…they make us beautiful.”  .

One reviewer wrote,
She makes it clear that with enough attitude, you could pull off anything.
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What an incredible woman! A true master of illustrating potential. She made me question my own “disabilities”, and in doing so, made me feel like a superhero.
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Here’s another video I really enjoyed that was shown at TEDxAkron.  It’s about a completely color blind man who Overcomes Deficiency by finding a very creative way to live in color…

 

 

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How Would You Respond?

Pretend you were a guest on this weekends The Regina Brett Show — a show about young widows and widowerscoping when death comes way too soon.
How would you have responded if asked the following questions?
(the questions below are all directly related to those that were discussed in the actual show. I invite you to respond to any of the questions that you connect with…even if you’re not a widow or widower)

1. Describe the person you are grieving? What were they like? How did they make you feel?
2. How do you feel about the label “widow” or “widower”? Or if you’re grieving the loss of someone other than a spouse…does another label, or your perception of societies view on death and grief, make you feel that you should experience death a certain way? Would you like a new label? What would it be? How would it help?
3. What kind of “sympathy comments” from others have helped you the most?
4. Do you forgive insensitive sympathy comments from others? Do you think they’re trying to further hurt you?
5. What are five words you would use to describe yourself before your loved one’s death? What are five words you would use to describe yourself after your loved one’s death? Are you still you?
6. What has helped you to keep your loved one’s memory and legacy alive?
7. Are you comfortable bringing your loved one’s love into the next phases of your life?
8. Are you still part of a couple (with this person who is now physically absent)? If so, in what ways?
9. Do you continue to nurture the relationships you had prior to your loved one’s loss (mutual friends, in-laws, etc)? Why or why not?
10. What does it look like to “move on”?
11. In terms of clothes and other personal items, how have you decided what to keep and what to part with? Do you have any advice to offer others?
12. When do you know you’re ready to date again?
13. Grief takes away so much. Does it give too? What gifts has grief offered you?
14. Can you still communicate with your loved one?…can you still reach them? If so, how?
15. If you do still communicate with your deceased loved one, do you think this interaction prevents you from “moving on”?…or does your ability to connect with them when needed allow you to feel more at peace and give you additional freedoms in creating your new reality?
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Thank you for sharing in this.

And if you’d like to listen to the show that aired over the weekend, it can be found here:
http://www.reginabrettshow.org/programs/young-widows-and-widowers/

 

 

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Stay Thirsty My Friends


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“I don’t always think about grief, but when I do, I choose HoneyIShrunkTheGrief dot com. Stay thirsty my friends.” ~The Most Interesting Man In The World

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Identifying Feelings

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My son came home with a stack of papers from his first day of school. One in particular caught my attention and made me an instant fan of his new teacher.

The “How Do I Feel Today?” handout (shown in the pic above) was given to David and his classmates. Each student was asked to color the figures that represented how they were feeling.

My son colored “Satisfied” and “Happy”, which I felt grateful to see, as those are both desired emotions that feel good.  But even if he was experiencing a less “feel good” emotion, I still would have praised him…for the wonderful act of identifying the feelings that he was having.

I think this classroom handout is golden, and I’d like to incorporate it into my life. It teaches kids — and parents like me! — the importance of reflecting on what they’re feeling. This act is freeing because by addressing our feelings, it opens up millions of doors and pathways inside us, allowing things to flow…things like empowering thoughts and new ideas…things that show us how to manage whatever classroom activity life is currently presenting to us.

Thanks for listening. I feel honored to share my thoughts/feelings with you…and as always, I welcome your thoughts.
How do you feel about all this?
Do you feel it’s beneficial to recognize your feelings?…or can you operate just as well by letting your subconscious handle that stuff, and maybe you prefer to just react instinctively?  
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Hmm, those last questions now have me thinking even deeper about this. Maybe if we get into the habit of pausing periodically to identify our feelings…and get into the habit of then proceeding in a manner that we determine to be the best course of action for things such as re-gaining balance…or feeling happiness/joy/harmony…maybe through the course of repetitive behaviors like that….our initial reactions, and our outcomes, will become more desirable/beneficial? And after we become more proficient at this whole process — one that involves Identifying and Thinking about how we choose to handle a feeling — I bet our repetitive “thinking” successes shift to a process that occurs on more of an Automatic level…one that doesn’t involve as much thinking, because the nature in which we address our feelings has then become a healthful habit…allowing us to expend more of our energy in different areas of personal growth.
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Some food to think about / to feel about :)
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My Printer Is Smarter Than a Fortune Cookie

While recently installing a new printer, the following thought provoking message popped up on my computer screen:

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“Now time and location are irrelevant”
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I smiled because the message reminded me of death.
When it comes to accessing love, death is teaching me that “time and location are irrelevant”. My deceased loved ones have transformed into something even greater. They are very much alive in my heart, and I continue to be amazed how they are still available anytime I need them.

More comforting proof that love will always find a way!

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That Smurfs!

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Ughh…I forgot to get french toast sticks at the grocery store yesterday.
I usually eat oatmeal for breakfast, but for some reason I’m really craving french toast sticks right now!

David and the neighborhood kids taught me to yell out, “That Smurfs!” when I need to get out any frustrations.  They know I don’t like it when they say “that sucks”, so they came up with an alternative “G rated” word that they could safely use. I’m not even sure what “smurfs” have to do with anything, but I must say that it makes me laugh…and it made me forgot all about my tragic french toast sticks dilemma just now!

Do you have a “G rated” thing that you or your kids say that makes you feel better when an unwanted thing happens? (Like if you bump your head hard on something…or somebody cuts you off in traffic…or if you ram your shoeless toe into a corner…or you forget your french toast sticks!)
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What innocent and fun thing do you say when you feel like swearing but don’t want to swear?!
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Growing Pains


Here’s a recent conversation about pain&growth I had with my 8yr old son that warmed my heart…


David:
“Daddy, I woke in the middle of the night because my legs hurt really bad. I think it was Growing Pains.”
Daddy: “Awe, ouch. I’m sorry.”
David: “Do Growing Pains mean I’m growing?”
Daddy: “Yes, I believe they do.”
David: “Oh good. That’s what I was thinking about during them, and it made me feel better.”

 

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Meaning of Life

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What do you think the Meaning of Life is? 

Is it simply, Love?
Is it the pursuit of being an unconditional “lover of all things” (including one’s own self)?…the pursuit of giving and receiving love freely?

Is the Meaning of Life, to share?
To pursue our own happiness, using our own gifts (because we each are already blessed with everything we need), while at the same time giving freely of ourselves to the world (because we are so intimately connected to everyone and everything, we feel whole when we give)?

Is the Meaning of Life to have Hope for more (hope for a greater awareness/understanding/perspective), while at the same time being Grateful for the everything that we already have?
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Does the Meaning of Life involve just being…being comfortable with being yourself? Could you imagine, if all we were meant to do is simply Be?  If all the Meaning of Life consisted of was listening to and following our hearts?
How wonderful that would be :)
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Or maybe the Meaning of Life is all about making music together (as is beautifully illustrated in this Under Pressure song from the Happy Feet 2 movie)…

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Or is the Meaning of Life something else?
And does it vary for everyone?
Or are we all on a different yet identical journey?

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Does your life feel meaningful?
When do you feel most connected to who and what you were created to be?
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What are your thoughts on the Meaning of Life?

 

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(9/28/12 update:  if you’re enjoying this Meaning of Life discussion, I invite you to dive deeper into the subject and check out the passionate exchanges I was recently involved in at the Sunny Day Talks blog site)

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Standing With Rascal / Running With Oscar

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What an inspirational athlete . . .

“You’re not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have.” ~Oscar Pistorius, the first amputee runner to compete at an Olympic Games (2012 Summer Olympics, 400m and 4 x 400m relay)

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And a song titled Stand by Rascal Flats.
In honor of the all powerful, forever accessible, driving spark of love in us all. . .

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Happy Standing!   Happy Running!

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Dance with me?

I love how this beautiful (Matt Harding & Co.) video below reminds me of how closely connected we are to people from all over the world. This video contains a captivating song with soulful lyrics (“Trip The Light” by Alicia Lemke). It contains joyful people dancing from all over the world. Dancing unites souls. We’re such physical creatures on the surface, but dancing has the ability to transcend our shells, and allows our truest selves to shine…making souls effortlessly connect and flow. I love anything that can do that! And I love this video! It’s such a rewarding 4min and 53second journey. Watch it with me? Dance with me? *Caution: I have two big left feet Lol…but I’m not sitting this one out!…it looks like too much fun! Join me:)
p.s. Cleveland, Ohio even makes an appearance at 3:26! . . .

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One of the top 100 pets

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I think my son loves our cat Zodi. He just announced, “Zodi has to be at least one of the top 100 cats in the world.”

I have to agree with him. She sure is a lovable friend.

Do you have a pet that’s at least one of the top 100 in the world, to you?  If so, please tell me something about them…name, why they are special to you, or anything you’d like to share :)

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2012 Olympics

 

I’m excited for the Olympics! I love watching the world’s top athletes compete. I love witnessing the intensity and focus. I love seeing the end result of so much preparation and determination. I love sharing in the athletes victories and defeats. I love seeing competitors proud of their accomplishments, regardless of what place they finished in. I love studying bodies in motion. And I love the way the Olympics help us to appreciate, admire, and unite people from all over the world.
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What do you enjoy about the Olympics?

 

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Top Secret

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Do you have a secret?…a secret that helps you to get through this life in One semi-stable(lol) and happy piece?

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A friend recently texted me and asked, “What’s your secret?”.
I replied, “I’m learning that my thoughts are my secret. I’m the only one, and only thing, responsible for my happiness. If I live with constant thoughts of Love and Gratitude — then no matter what my situation — my world will always be a rich and loving one.”

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Do you have a secret?…one that helps you to manage your life?…one that consistently brings good into your world?

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HoneyIShrunkTheGrief’s TV debut on abc’s NewsChannel5

Thank you to abc’s News Channel 5 for including me in the Technology/Grieving piece that aired on TV in Cleveland last night. If you didn’t get a chance to see it, a video of the 7/17/12 broadcast can be found on Channel5’s webpage by clicking here.

…a pic of me during the Channel5 interview
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How has technology influenced the way you grieve?
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Believe!

 

BELIEVE!

I believe that Believing makes All the difference.

I believe You are Important.  Great.  Needed.
I believe I am Important.  Great.  Needed.


I believe that Believing is the seed that starts and finishes Everything.


What do you believe?


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My Mutant Tastebud

 

Have you ever experienced a mutant tastebud, hair, or other unusual bodily event?

The greatest thing just happened to me.  I woke up this morning with the most sensitive mutant tastebud ever.  It was right on the tip of my tongue, and it felt like all of the nerve endings in my entire body were exposed in this one tiny spot.  It was so ridiculously sensitive…every time it would come in contact with any part of the inside of my mouth it would send these massively startling alerts to my brain.  And then, just when I was starting to enjoy this odd occurance…my enlarged tastebud somehow found its way in between my top&bottom teeth, and without even thinking about it, I chomped down and bit it off…and my new friend was instantly gone! Now my tongue has returned to its mortal form. Sigh.

Do you have any unusual and fun bodily experiences to share? Maybe a mutant hair that went undisovered until it reached Guinness Book proportions? A fart that cleared a room? Or another memorable event?

Share your stories here :) 

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The Gratitude Game

Here’s how it works…
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leave a brief one item comment on my HISTG Facebook page that completes this sentence:“I’m grateful for…”
(you’re allowed to use more than one word in your response if you need to, just make it as brief as possible)
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*BUT the challenge is…your comment must START with the LAST LETTER of the most recent comment that was made (see my example at the very beginning of the comment section in my Facebook post)
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*You can comment at any time, and as often as you’d like (even one right after another), just post a separate comment for each response you’d like to make.
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That’s all there is to it.
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Are you good with words?
Do you have something you’re grateful for?
Do you think we can all work together and compile a big list of golden gratitude?
Let’s start and see what happens:)
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The Amazing Spider-Eric!


Do you have a movie that brings out the best in you?
Or maybe a favorite movie quote or movie song to share?

I went to see the new The Amazing Spider-Man movie on 7/3/12. WhOa, what a great film!!  I’m a long time Spidey fan. Spiderman brings out the dreamer in me…the kid in me…the superhero in me:)

See for yourself…

 

And here’s a fun Spider-Man song parody by Weird Al Yankovic…


Do you have a movie that brings out the best in you?
Or maybe a favorite movie quote or movie song to share?
(your comments are welcome below) 

 

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My special friend, Feronica

Meet my new friend. She’s a fern. I named her Feronica. She came home with me the other night, and we’ve been inseparable since. I’ve never been attached to a plant before, but for reasons unknown, Feronica and I have something special going on!

And here’s a song by one of my favorite artists that I sang to Feronica last night:
Jack Johnson’s Better Together…


Do you have any interesting relationships with any things in your home?

 

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Everything Evolves To Survive

I went to the new Cleveland Aquarium on 6/26/12 with David and my father-in-law. We all had a really nice time. It’s a cool place with lots of colorful and fascinating aquatic life, and I loved the interesting educational displays that were posted everywhere. Here’s a pic of one of the displays that caught my attention. It got me thinking about how exciting life is. Another display there discussed how everything evolves to survive. It made me think of grief…and all of the evolution that has taken place within me…and all of the evolution yet to come…and like the fish, all that’s “yet to be discovered”. It made me see my future in such a hopeful light. One full of treasures yet to be found. Wanted to share these thoughts with you…in the hopes that they bring some sunshine to you and your beautifully evolving soul.

Here’s a complimenting song that came to mind that I was just groovin to:
Cake: I Will Survive…


 

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A Toilet Clean Enough to Eat off of!

What’s your favorite part of your home to clean?

I just finished cleaning my bathrooms. It doesn’t take long for my son and me to foul up a toilet when standing and peeing (hey, I’m 6’3″ tall…I have some distance to cover!). My toilets are now clean enough to eat off of (I posted a pic for proof! Join me for breakfast?!). I’m proud of myself because I decided to go old school and mix 3/4cup bleach with a gallon of water, then let stand for 10minutes and rinse (previously I was buying those expensive cleaning wipes. But liquid bleach is so cheap!, so I think I’m going to use the bleach/water mix instead from now on). I realized when I was cleaning how good I felt. I can’t say I really look forward to cleaning, but whenever I’m actually in the process, I really do enjoy it. And you can’t beat the end result — it’s very satisfying to have a clean home.


Do you like to clean? What’s your favorite part of your home to clean? 

 

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HoneyIShrunkTheGrief in The Plain Dealer!

I met New York Times best selling author and beloved Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper columnist Regina Brett at a library presentation she gave this week discussing her latest book Be The Miracle (a collection of stories and essays to inspire people to be the miracle right here, right now”).  A wise friend I attended the event with encouraged me to go and speak with Regina afterward.  I’m so glad I did!  That chance meeting, and an interview we had together a few days later, turned into the 6/17/12 Father’s Day column that she published on page 2 of the Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper!

If you don’t have access to the newspaper, but would like to read the article she wrote on my story, it can be found online here…
http://www.cleveland.com/brett/blog/index.ssf/2012/06/fathers_day_dad_finds_hope_eno.html

Extra Extra read all about it!!…HoneyIShrunkTheGrief is in the News!!!

 

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Something Great Is Awaiting

A friend told me once, “Something great is always around the corner…doesn’t matter if you don’t know what it is”. I find such hope in that thought because while there are so many moments in my life that are full of question marks, it’s a comforting reminder to me to have faith that whatever happens is going to bring good into my life.

The combination of that quote, and today’s blue skied sunny Cleveland Ohio day, made me think of a Jakob Dylan song titled Something Good This Way Comes. Felt like a perfect song for the moment.  Click below if you’d like to listen…

 

 

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Olympic Dreams

What is something somebody said to you that made your day?…made you glow?

I went for a run the other day and along the way passed a 9 or 10 year old boy on his bike who was riding towards me. I apparently impressed him in some way because after we passed he stopped, turned around, and with the most innocent and curious tone called out, “Are you going to be in the Olympics someday?”. His question made me glow. I had a childhood dream of being in the Olympics, so when I heard his comment, I immediately connected to this deeply rooted dream and it made me feel so good inside. It still lights me up just thinking about it. I excelled in Track and Field as a child, but not so much as I got older, so my Olympic dreams got left behind in my childhood. But in this little boy’s eyes, I looked like an Olympic athlete…and in that moment, my Olympic dream came true:)

What is something somebody has said to you that made you glow?

 

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Home / Phillip Phillips

I didn’t follow American Idol this year, but I tuned into most of Wednesday’s final performance show, and quickly became a fan of Phillip Phillips. Did you catch the show? What did you think? I really enjoyed his final performance that night of an original song he sang titled Home. I found his voice to be comforting, the lyrics moving, the acoustic guitar soothing/magical, and thought the drums added such a soft, yet strong and beautifully complimenting sound. I was also drawn to the fact that he looked so at ease, so in his element, and I felt such happiness for him…as those rare moments of “flow” in this life are so wonderful to witness and experience.

If you’d like to listen to his Home song for yourself . . .

Listening to that song also makes me reflect on the subject of “Home”…specifically, the things that have felt the most like Home to me during my widowed years…things that have provided me with shelter, security, safety — important parts of my environment that provided some form of grief relief. Reflecting on these things that made-up (and still make-up) my Home felt good to think about, and I thought you might enjoy the question too. What are the things that have provided you with the greatest sense of Home during your widowed or grieving days?

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The 58 year old Waffle

Here are two questions for you to think about…followed by a true story that led to these questions.

#1 When you think about your own aging body, what is one part of your body that is changing faster than you’d like it to?

#2 What is one thing you like about getting older?

Ok, now for my true story:
I’m 38 years young. And I’m pretty cool with that. But listen to this. David (my 8yr old son) and I went to Waffle House for dinner this evening, and on the way into the restaurant a woman (whom I would soon find out was 58 years old) was a few steps ahead of us and got to the main door first. She opened the door and then motioned for me to go first while she held it open. I felt bad because I was the guy, and thought she should get to go first.  Plus, her family had already gone in, and I wanted to give her a chance to catch up to them — so I motioned for her to go and went to reach above her with my long arms to hold the door for her.  She then sorta body blocked my reach (lol) and insisted that I go first. And to make the moment even more comical, she then makes the comment, “I have respect for my elders” (meaning she thought I was older than her so she should hold the door for me). She then follows behind us into the restaurant, and at this point must have started to second guess herself a little because she kind of chuckled, but yet in a serious tone proceeded to say,”I dunno, you might actually be younger than me. I’m 58, how old are you?”. At first I thought she must be kidding.  I mean I’m 38, she’s 58, this is all a joke right?  But after reevaluating her tone and seeing her facial expression, I truly believe she was serious!  I didn’t end up telling her my age though (because I think I was embarrassed for us both at this point), but in response to her question I smiled and said something like, “yeah, I’m younger than 58”.

As I now sit in front of my computer, in the comfort of my home, I’m still having trouble processing all of this — how did she mistake me for being more than 20 years older than I actually am?  Maybe it should be said that I was due for a shave and a haircut, so as far as bodily hair goes (lol), I was probably looking a couple years older than if I was all cleaned up (I gave myself a shave and haircut when I got home though lol). And it also should be said that my dad turned grey when he was pretty young, and I seem to be following way too closely in his footsteps, which I struggle with, because although I’ve had women compliment me on the whole salt and pepper thing, personally, I’d rather be much lighter on the salt, and much heavier on the pepper!…because I’m starting to feel self-conscious about it making me look older than I really am, and I don’t want to look older than I really am…especially because physically, I feel younger than I am!  Need help getting that frisbee down that’s stuck on top of your 3rd floor roof??  I’m your man!!  I’ll climb your tree, then jump like a squirrel and scale up the side of your brick house…grab the frisbee, then slide down the gutter and be back and ready for more before you can say “Wowwww, my hero!” (ok, I made all that up, but you get what I’m trying to say…I feel young inside!). And I’m slowly starting to accept that I look older on the outside than I feel on the inside, BuT not over 20 years older like this woman suggested at the Waffle House this evening! I’m not ready to be 20 years older!

This is me as a 58yr old Waffle. Did you notice my salt&pepper hair?

So now the story comes to an end and finishes where we started!

When you think about your own aging body, what is one part of your body that is changing faster than you’d like it to
(for me it would be my graying hair!)

And, on a brighter note, what is one thing you like about getting older?
(for me it would be having Waffle House doors held open for me! Ha!)

Responses are welcome below.  Thanks!

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Now on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
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