{"id":318,"date":"2012-03-14T01:12:47","date_gmt":"2012-03-14T05:12:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/?page_id=318"},"modified":"2016-12-11T06:43:07","modified_gmt":"2016-12-11T11:43:07","slug":"ch3-getting-help","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/chapters\/ch3-getting-help\/","title":{"rendered":"Ch3: Getting Help (A)"},"content":{"rendered":"

www.HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com<\/span>
\n \u00a9 2012 Eric Vaiksnoras<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI get by with a little help from my friends.\u201d<\/strong><\/span>
\n.<\/span>~John Lennon (1940-1980)<\/span>
\n.
\n<\/span>
\n<\/em>I\u2019m not sure how I would have made it had it not been for the support of so many caring people. There seemed to always be someone standing by my side or reaching out to offer a hand. I consider myself to be a pretty tough and resilient guy, but in no way could I have made it through this on my own. I am forever grateful for the countless people who stepped forward to support my son and myself.<\/p>\n

The help I received from my family was beyond extraordinary. Perhaps the most incredible part about this source of help was that it was given by people who were also painstakingly grieving the death of Julie. We were all broken and grieving in our own unique ways\u2014and at times, all of our emotion worked against us\u2014but more often than not, we found a way to lean on each other and hold each other up. The collective piece of heartache that made up us<\/em> was such a beautiful thing in action. In the months and years that followed, the dynamics of our family has changed as a result of Julie\u2019s absence, but one thing has not changed, and that\u2019s the love we have for one another.<\/p>\n

The help I received from friends, and many people I didn\u2019t even know, was beyond anything I\u2019ve ever experienced or could have imagined. It came from everywhere. Simply put: David and I were showered with love.<\/p>\n

The 3rd-5th\u00a0grade public elementary school that Julie taught at, Timmons Elementary School (TES), in Chagrin Falls, Ohio, was at the heart of this outreach. They created a memorial fund for us in Julie\u2019s name at one of the local banks\u2014a place where many individuals and families generously and anonymously donated money to help us. Fifth grade students at Timmons even raised money for us during their school lunch period, after a concerned student started a spare change collection by turning a coffee can into a coin bank. I will never forget all of the loving donations we received. They were very unexpected and helped us to make ends meet during that difficult time.<\/p>\n

Financial support was not the only thing we received. The TES community worked together to create a beautiful memorial garden in a scenic and serene area of the school grounds. David and I have since spent many after school hours there\u2014often times during holidays or special anniversaries. It has become a wonderful and peaceful place for us to connect to Julie.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\nJulie\u2019s Memorial Garden<\/strong><\/span>
\nOctober 2004
\n.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

We also received large boxes filled with sympathy cards, handmade by hundreds of TES students. The pure and simple sentiments in those cards provided so much comfort and direction. Children have such a wonderful way with words; they are incredibly perceptive and are so often blessed with the ability to say exactly what\u2019s on their mind.<\/p>\n

I am devoting the remainder of this chapter to sharing a sample of these sympathy cards with you. I chose to focus on these tangible gifts because the support the young students offered in these cards mirrored so much of the support I received from everyone\u2014some had upbeat offerings, others were filled with sadness and despair. Whatever form each message came in, they were all treasured gifts from the heart.<\/p>\n

I would also like to share these cards because I have a deep desire to thank everyone who has accompanied us throughout this journey. I would like to wholeheartedly thank each person within the pages of this book, but I\u2019ve struggled with the best way to go about doing this; the task feels so incredibly overwhelming. I\u2019ve concluded that one of the best ways I can give back to those who have helped us, outside of simply being grateful, is to pass along the love we received to others.<\/p>\n

With these thoughts in mind, I would now like to offer the love in these cards to You<\/em>. I invite you, as you see fit, to allow the sentiments in the cards that follow to be directed towards you and any loved one that you may be grieving.<\/p>\n

With love, from the 3rd-5th grade students . . .<\/span><\/strong>.
\n.<\/span>
\n.
\n<\/span>\"\"
\nDear Baby,<\/strong><\/span>
\n David, your Mom was my favorite teacher yet.\u00a0 She always wore pretty clothes and really cool shoes.\u00a0 She also wore toe rings.\u00a0 She was so pretty and honest.\u00a0 I will always love her.\u00a0 I hope you like the cow.<\/span>
\n
\n\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"
\nTo: Vaiksnoras Family<\/strong><\/span>
\n I feel really bad about your loss. \u00a0She was my Summer School teacher.\u00a0 David your Mom gave me penciels if we were good and I got 6.\u00a0 I wanted give Mr. Vaiksnoras and David family pencils.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
\nDear Vaiksnoras faimly,<\/strong><\/span>
\n it’s ok Shes in a better Place now.\u00a0 Shes teaching 3rd<\/sup> grade angels now in a golden classroom with magical chalk.\u00a0 Shes hopefully haveing a good time in heaven.\u00a0 She prouldaly misses you very much\u00a0 Just remember she will always be there in your hearts<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"
\nI belive<\/strong><\/span>
\n If you do to<\/strong><\/span>
\n But if you don\u2019t belive<\/strong><\/span>
\n What do we do?<\/strong><\/span>
\n You need to be strong<\/strong><\/span>
\n Don\u2019t be blue<\/strong><\/span>
\n Do what she would<\/strong><\/span>
\nWant you to\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>Dear Mrs. Vaiksnoras,<\/strong><\/span>
\n You were a nice loveing caring teacher that everyone has mett.\u00a0 We are all very sad that you are gone but we will always remember you.\u00a0 (My teacher) misses you very much.\u00a0 She wants you to be alive.\u00a0 It\u2019s all a pattern\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 we are born, go to school, get married, live a little longer and die.\u00a0 I know it is sad but life\u2019s not easy to live through.\u00a0 Sorry Mrs. Vaiksnoras, you the best teacher anyone can have.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>Mrs. Vaiksnoras was a great teacher.\u00a0 Don\u2019t remember the bad things.\u00a0 Just remember the good tims you had with her.\u00a0 It is ok to do some fun stuff still\u00a0\u00a0 Just always remember her when ever your doing them.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about her just remember her\u00a0\u00a0 She will be safe upin heaven because god will take care of her.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

She will be in our Prayers<\/span>\u00a0\u2665<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"
\nfootball\u00a0\u00a0 tennus\u00a0\u00a0 soccer\u00a0\u00a0 basketball\u00a0\u00a0 baseball<\/strong><\/span>
\n David, you go little man!\u00a0 Shoot a hoop make a goal!\u00a0 Try your best even more!\u00a0 Never give up or u\u2019ll be sad!\u00a0 Try your best and you\u2019ll be glad!<\/strong><\/span>
\n GO David!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"
\nMrs. V was a good friend of mine.\u00a0 In two years I promise I will baby-sit your son free!\u00a0 When ever you like!\u00a0 for free!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"<\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>Dear Mr. Vaiksnoras and David,
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/span>I am veary sorry about what happened.\u00a0 I remember when I got my first \u201cA\u201d in Science.\u00a0 On the paper she put a smiley face.\u00a0 She helped me get an \u201cA\u201d by working really hard on getting me to understand.\u00a0 She never gave up on me.\u00a0 You cloud tell the look on her face She relly wanted me to understand.\u00a0 I will mess the way she tried her best teaching me.\u00a0 I always trusted her to help me on things I don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 Im sorry you didn\u2019t spend alot\u00a0 of time with her,David.<\/b><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"<\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>Dear Mr. Vaiksnoras and David
\n<\/strong>I remember when I got my first A in Science and all my friends got Bs and Cs.\u00a0 Mrs. Vaiksnoras was\u00a0\u00a0 so nice\u00a0 she never yelled at\u00a0\u00a0 us.\u00a0 I\u2019ll miss her teaching us.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"<\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"
\nDear MR. Vaiksnoras<\/strong><\/span>
\n Are Prayers are with\u00a0you.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span>
\n
\nDear David<\/strong><\/span>
\n Sorry you lost your<\/strong><\/span>
\n Mom But your Dad<\/strong><\/span>
\n will tak car of you.<\/strong><\/span>
\n And thats part of life<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>I\u2019m So Sorry.\u00a0 She was a nice loving and caring teacher.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>
\nStand strong and don\u2019t cry.\u00a0 She tried her best to stay alive!\u00a0 It\u2019s not your fault at all.<\/span><\/span> \u2665\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6\u00a0 \u25e6<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>\"\"
\n\"\"
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

.<\/span><\/p>\n

~\u00a0\u00a0 ~\u00a0\u00a0 ~\u00a0\u00a0 ~\u00a0\u00a0 ~\u00a0\u00a0 ~\u00a0\u00a0 ~
\n<\/span>Because this chapter has so many pictures it has been broken down into 4\u00a0separate\u00a0pages (A,B,C,&D) in an effort to reduce page load times.
\nComments can be made at the end of this chapter, on the Ch3 (D) page.<\/p>\n

Click here to continue to the next page of this chapter: Ch3 (B)<\/a><\/p>\n

Click here to order the newly released full-color paperback version of this book<\/u><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

www.HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com \u00a9 2012 Eric Vaiksnoras \u201cI get by with a little help from my friends.\u201d .~John Lennon (1940-1980) . I\u2019m not sure how I would have made it had it not been for the support of so many caring people. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":219,"menu_order":3,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"sidebar-page.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-318","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/318","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=318"}],"version-history":[{"count":104,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/318\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1644,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/318\/revisions\/1644"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=318"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}