{"id":267,"date":"2012-04-18T12:58:29","date_gmt":"2012-04-18T16:58:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/?p=267"},"modified":"2015-06-11T12:19:38","modified_gmt":"2015-06-11T16:19:38","slug":"i-love-youmyself-unless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/2012\/04\/18\/i-love-youmyself-unless\/","title":{"rendered":"I Love You, unless…"},"content":{"rendered":"

.<\/span>
\n\u2026you\u2019re different.<\/p>\n

The title above — I Love You, unless you\u2019re different<\/strong> — <\/em>\u00a0is my own personal interpretation\/translation of a brilliant blog post I just read (written by Dan Pearce) titled I\u2019m Christian, unless you\u2019re gay\u2026<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n

Before I proceed with sharing a link to Dan\u2019s amazing post, I have some questions for you — important questions that you may find to be challenging.\u00a0 Questions that I asked myself when deciding if I wanted to write a blog about his article:<\/p>\n

What do you feel inside when reading the title of Dan\u2019s post\u00a0I\u2019m Christian, unless you\u2019re gay\u2026<\/strong><\/em>?\u00a0 Fear?\u00a0 Conflict?\u00a0 Controversy?\u00a0 The need to fight and defend?\u2026(Fight and defend what?)\u00a0 Or maybe you feel the need to stop reading and run?\u2026(Run from what?)<\/p>\n

Regardless of whatever strong emotions you may presently be feeling, I ask you to momentarily put them aside and give Dan\u2019s post the chance it deserves.\u00a0 I believe with all my heart that doing so will be extremely worthwhile \u2013 his post contains a tremendous power to both shrink grief<\/em> and save the world<\/em>.<\/p>\n

For those still feeling a sense of conflict\/fear\/controversy (myself included), I\u2019d like to put the title of Dan\u2019s blog next to my made-up translation of his title.\u00a0 This act helped to ease the tension I felt in my mind, and my hope is that maybe it can do the same for you.
\n(note:\u00a0 this is not a literal translation; only one that I felt captured the essence of his entire post, and helped me to further open my eyes to his important message)<\/p>\n

The title of Dan\u2019s article I\u2019m about to share with you is:
\nI\u2019m Christian, unless you\u2019re gay\u2026
\n<\/strong><\/em>And here\u2019s the alternate title I made for Dan\u2019s article:
\nI Love You, unless you\u2019re different<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Personally, I like his title better.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s brilliant because it\u2019s provoking and warrants a response.\u00a0 It\u2019s controversial and appeals to the side of me that needs to grow by stepping outside of my comfort zone.\u00a0 But, I fear that it may be so controversial that people will run from it and miss out on all the goodness within.\u00a0 I also fear something perhaps even worse \u2013 that people will appreciate his message, but will not share it out of fear of how others will react (a category I was close to falling into).<\/p>\n

So what is his message about anyway, and why do I think it’s so important?
\nHis message is about loving one another and loving ourselves.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Why do I think his article is capable of both shrinking grief and saving the world?\u00a0 Because if I live my life with a thought process founded on I Love You, unless you\u2019re different<\/em><\/strong>, that means that I have no choice but to apply that same shortsighted logic to myself<\/em>\u2026and thus my perception of myself, out of habit \u2013 like it or not \u2013 automatically defers to:\u00a0I Love Myself, unless I perceive myself as different.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

So not only does this kind of thinking (I love you, unless you’re different) harm others by feeding a false perception that “I’m better than you”, but it also has a direct harmful impact on me.\u00a0 Everything in this world is so closely connected;<\/em> it\u2019s impossible to add to the destruction of others without destroying myself in the process.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

POWERFUL stuff.<\/p>\n

It now gives me great pleasure to share the blog post responsible for this discussion.\u00a0 I do not know this fellow single-dad-blogger, nor was I aware of his writings until just yesterday — but what I do know is that the first post\u00a0I’ve\u00a0ever read of his was one of the most brilliant and inspirational things I have ever come across.\u00a0 And apparently I\u2019m not the only one drawn to what he has to say, as since its creation in November of 2011, his post has already been read by millions of people around the world.
\nTo access his blog\/post, click on the link directly below\u2026<\/p>\n

~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~
\n\u201cI\u2019m Christian, unless you\u2019re gay…\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/span>
\n<\/a><\/span>by Dan Pearce
\n~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~ \u00a0~<\/p>\n

.<\/span>
\nThanks for the great post Dan.
\nI\u2019m very happy to help spread your golden message.<\/p>\n

Love Heals — Grief, and everything else too.<\/p>\n

EricV<\/p>\n

an invitation to you\u2026<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Even though I instantly connected with Dan\u2019s message and wanted to share it with you here on my site, I was hesitant to do so.\u00a0 I feared your negative reaction.\u00a0 But it was also that very same fact (being afraid) that told me I needed to explore the subject further.
\nDo you find value in Dan\u2019s message?\u00a0 If so, are you going to take Dan up on his invitation to share his post with others?
\n<\/span>For what it\u2019s worth, I can tell you from my own experience that sharing it feels very freeing.\u00a0 I believe this stems from a sense of satisfaction for standing up for what I believe in, rather than living a life that\u2019s controlled by my fears of how others may react (if interested, more can be read on Fear in the last section of <\/span>Chapter 8<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/span> of my book). \u00a0I encourage y<\/span>ou to share his message with others. \u00a0As Dan so beautifully states at the end of his post, \u201c<\/span>If it\u2019s important to you, too, please share it. If you believe its message needs to be spread, please share it. Use your voice for that which it was meant.\u00a0 Use your voice to embolden the world. Use your voice to say, \u201cenough is enough.\u201d Use your voice to stand up and declare that there is no other way besides love.\u00a0 With all my heart. Please<\/em>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Dan\u2019s thought provoking post caused me to ask myself a lot of soulful questions\u2026questions that I\u2019d now like to offer to you<\/span>.
\n<\/em>Do you feel the need to \u201cbe better\u201d than others?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Do you feel love when you judge?\u00a0 Do you feel love when someone judges you?\u00a0 Do you think there\u2019s a relationship between those who judge others often and those who judge themselves often?\u00a0 Do those who judge others often, feel good about themselves?\u00a0 Do you grow when you\u2019re criticized and made to feel that you don\u2019t belong?\u2026or do you grow when you\u2019re welcomed, accepted, and loved?
\n<\/span>Does God want us to Love or Judge?
\nOr to take religion out of the equation, a better question might be to simply ask…
\nDo You want to Love or Judge?<\/em>
\n<\/span>Why?<\/span><\/p>\n

Dan wrote the article I just shared in November of 2011.\u00a0 Since then, he has written several very touching and eye-opening follow-up posts based on written and video responses from his readers. \u00a0If interested, these beautiful follow-up stories can be found within the pages of his <\/span>single dad laughing<\/em> blog, or by <\/span>clicking here<\/span><\/a><\/span>.
\n.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

.<\/span><\/p>\n

~ \u00a0 ~ \u00a0 ~ \u00a0 ~ \u00a0 ~ \u00a0 ~ \u00a0 ~
\nNow on Facebook!\u00a0http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/HoneyIShrunkTheGrief
\n<\/a>Now on Twitter!\u00a0https:\/\/twitter.com\/EricVaiksnoras<\/a><\/span>
\n<\/a>Check out my book!\u00a0http:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/book\/
\n<\/a>Feeling grateful? or feeling low?\u00a0Sign the Thank You Card!<\/a><\/p>\n

click here to return to home page<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

. \u2026you\u2019re different. The title above — I Love You, unless you\u2019re different — \u00a0is my own personal interpretation\/translation of a brilliant blog post I just read (written by Dan Pearce) titled I\u2019m Christian, unless you\u2019re gay\u2026. Before I proceed … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[45,85,13,54,14,44,21,92,23,22,24,93,94,12,20,11,57,25],"class_list":["post-267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-will-find-a-way","tag-a-young-widower-discovers-love-will-find-a-way","tag-eric-vaiksnoras","tag-grief","tag-griever","tag-grieving","tag-honey-i-shrunk-the-grief","tag-hope","tag-i-love-you-unless-youre-different","tag-laugh","tag-live","tag-love","tag-loving-one-another","tag-loving-yourself","tag-widow","tag-widowed","tag-widower","tag-www-honeyishrunkthegrief-com","tag-young-widower"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=267"}],"version-history":[{"count":31,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2410,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions\/2410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeyishrunkthegrief.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}